Today has been a very hard it’s been four months since I lost my partner suddenly. Everyone said I was doing well as if they really know, but since last week all my forward steps have been thrown into disarray. My neighbour has been causing me major issues to the point of I can’t leave my home I don’t like confrontation and she is really very abusive. Since I lost Dave I felt I needed to move back to be near my family for support unfortunately I have got nowhere to achieving this yet (council issues) and now to top it all my job which my line manager said they would sort so I could work remotely and return a couple of times a month has been squashed. I truly wish I had died with him it’s so difficult just living without him, I don’t see a reason my life is hell I’ve never felt so alone. Thanks for letting me put this into words.
I understand what you are saying, I now find that any problem that I would normally have dealt with, I can’t. Not only because my resilience has gone but because the person who would have my back and would support me isn’t here. No matter who else there is around no one can fix our problems - there’s just us. That’s one of the things that makes me feel so lonely. Sending hugs
Hugs to you both, you’re so right how the smallest of problems seem impossible to fix now, how everything just wants to make you break down and cry.
I’m sorry Lorraine that your neighbour is being a first class Asshole it’s the last thing you need, I too lost my partner 4 months ago she was the wheel that kept everything going and I’m crazy lost without her.
It is easy to put on a fake face make out your doing a lot better then you actually are to be honest I’m sick and tired of hearing people say I’m doing well because when I’m alone all I do is cry and wish I wasn’t here… I have no advice to offer nor any positive remarks to help anyone go forward all I can say is I’m here if anyone wants to talk, rant, scream I’m happy to listen without judgement if not my heart goes out too you. Take your baby steps and a day at a time and have hope that somehow will all pull through.
Thank you it’s good to know someone is going through the motions like me, the only constant companion being tears. 
I feel for you love, I am going through it myself, lost my hubby on 6th April to cancer, I nurse him at home as we did not want him to go to the hospital or a hospice, think the virus would of finished him sooner ,never saw a nurse or doctor until 3 weeks b4 he died, the family could not come because of lockdown, It drained me having to wash and clean him and the bedding 3/4 a day, but I would do it all again if I could have him back, he was my best friend, lover and soulmate, I was still broken, I too wanted to take my life, told my daughter if anyone could guarantee I would be with him I would, the only thing stopped me was my daughter saying no one can , It was his b/day on July the 30th and our anniversary the 31st, I was broken getting through them too hard days, the 1st ones without him, now I am just existing not living. How can you get over this, I will never know.