No reason to go on

Today is the three month anniversary of the death of my husband. I have no reason to live. I have no reason to get up in the morning. I have no reason to do anything, So I just go through the motions until it’s time to go to sleep again, and I hope beyond hope that I will just slip away during the night and not have to wake up again to face another day without him. :broken_heart:

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Hi StephJ

I’m so sorry to hear about your husband. It sounds as though things are very tough and you are feeling really overwhelmed.

I think you could really do with some support and I’m glad that you’ve been able to talk about how you’re feeling here. There is lots of other support out there, and I would really encourage you to reach out and speak to someone about how you are feeling.

The Samaritans are always there 24/7 if you need to talk about anything that’s bothering you (116 123, or jo@samaritans.org).

Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: www.sueryder.org/counselling

You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area. Please be aware that GPs and support services are not currently offering face-to-face appointments, but will usually be offering telephone or online alternatives.

You deserve care and support so please, StephJ, get in touch with one of these services.

If you are at risk of harming yourself, please call 999 or contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.

Take care,

Mick
Online Community team

Hi it’s 5 months on with my husband please message anytime I know and all on here know what your going through I may be wrong and can’t speak for others on here but thoughts off not going on we’re on my mind a lot I had to stop and think of family what it would do to them. I had counselling for 2 months and it did help. Please take care x

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Hi Steph, I and many others on here who have lost their husbands felt exactly how you do. Our reason for living has gone, what is the point without him. The future we thought we were going to have together has gone in the blink of an eye, all our plans and dreams shattered. Three months is still very early days for you, it’s been nine months for me and I still cry every day and can’t wait to get to sleep at night as it’s my only respite from the pain. I am slowly adjusting to living on my own with my wee dog. I am lucky I have amazing family and friends who look out for me and I am going out socially again even though it’s never going to be the same as when Colin was here I need to do it because it is going to be a very lonely life if I don’t. I have started driving again after 35 years which scares the life out of me but it gives me independence. I am telling you this to show you it will get better even though right now you can’t see it ever being so. What I will say to you is keeping posting on here you will connect with fantastic people who understand and empathize because they too are walking in your shoes. I have met wonderfully supportive ladies on here and we help eachother on a daily basis, we even have a wee Friday night WhatsApp group where we laugh and cry together helping eachother through. Just take it a day at a time and slowly things will change for you.
V xx

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Thinking of you Stephj and all of us on here. Take care all xx

Oh Steph, I know how you feel because I feel the same - the only reason I’m still here is my daughter, as much as I want to be with June, or at least not here, I just couldn’t do that to her. We lost my brother and mother earlier in the year before my beloved went 2 months ago. My dauhter is struggling now and I think me going would finish her, so here I am… tyring to get her though this.

I’m trying to keep busy, doing the garden and I’ve redecorated about half the house (no changes to the colours etc, just freshened up), cleared the loft. anything to not have to think and feel tired enough to sleep
Take care all

D

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I know how you feel . Nearly a year for me and would be happy not to wake in morning . However we do wake and have to get up
And just face each day . One day at a time . Wish I could say it gets better but that would be a lie ! However some days I can get on and do things and feel satisfaction . Other days I wish I didn’t have to get up . I find planning something each day and distraction helps . Lockdown has made life so hard ! Have a lovely family so try to be grateful
For that :cry::pray:

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