Firstly I am sorry for the morbid topic, im sure im not the only one here to have felt this.
I’m 41yo and my fiance passed suddenly in Dec 2025, and I can honestly admit if it wasn’t for our 2 dogs I wouldn’t still be here. I have this sinking feeling I’m going to loose everything and I dont know where to turn for help. Noone around me has had to deal with anything like this and im lost in a sea of legalise without any funds to pay for help.
My fiance died with no will in place but unfortunately also still legally married (although divorce was in process). Whilst we dont own our home I cant afford to pay the bills with only one wage, ive already eaten through savings making it through the first few months.
His estate isnt being handled because legally this responsibility falls to his ‘wife’ separated and not in each other’s lives for almost 14 years. She’s not a nice person and has sent some very hurtful messages to his adult children since his death. Every time handling his estate is mentioned she goes non responsive for weeks.
I feel like I cant move because of legal issues, if I move I may have to get rid of items that because I dont know how it works, could be deemed as half his personal items and therfore part of his estate. If I get rid of anything am I breaking the law? Without any information I’m stuck now circling the drain and debt building up that I’ll probably never come out of.
I feel like its a battle just to take a breath, and I honestly dont know how much longer I can keep going. He was my entire world, I dont have a social group of friends and I live 80+ miles from any family, not that we are close or they’ve been any help, very much out of sight, out of mind.
I wouldn’t even describe it as drowning, because that would suggest still fighting, I dont feel like I am.
I am so sorry for your loss. I’m afraid I’m no expert, you need help and support. None of this is fair, losing your partner is a nightmare just on its own. The worries you have about money and the future are too much to cope with on top of grief. Please reach out to an organisation like Cruise, I haven’t used them but from what I know they will be there with advice and support. You need a plan going forward, we all do that have lost our loved ones. Please take care of yourself and look for some legal advice.
The people in this group are amazing. I know someone will be along with support and advice. What I did when I first joined was search previous posts for questions I had. There are some very knowledgeable people who have posted.
Hi @Isolated that sounds terrible. I too lost my partner with no will in January. I would check the estate situation. I was not the executor of Paul’s estate his eldest daughter was who thankfully took care of his money (which wasn’t much and a few debts) as she worked in finance. Personal belongings please check as I effectively took them over - it sounds as if you are the dependent adult of your partnership so will have some rights. I would presume it would be hard to prove what is his and yours anyway. You say there is no house but is there a car? This is all very practical and financial and so sorry you have to go through all this when you are suffering so. I have to get off for work in a bit but will check back later. We are here for you.
His car still has outstanding finance in his name so forms a debt, i have my own vehicle, also on finance with outstanding money in my name.
Aside from not writing wills, (which we planned to do after we were married next year) we thought we were fairly organised, we kept bank accounts separate as didnt want his ex wife to be able to access anything of mine. Aside from the minimal money in his bank, (no where close to enough to cover his debts), its going to come down to personal possessions. As his legal wife she has the right to claim all his possessions. I cant prove what is or isnt his. I didnt keep receipts for everything over the last 13 years, how do you prove such a thing.
Hi Isolated, I am so sorry to hear about your situation. What I would say is that, as far as the concerns about the legal issue debt etc with time these things will pass. It often feels that all these things seem insurmountable and seem to be crushing you but you will overcome this. You need to look after yourself which is the most important. Have you spoken to your GP, if you can’t cope you need to ask for help.
Have you contacted citizen advice for help with the legal issues? Asking for help from people is important and doing so is often the beginning of resolving problems.
Wishing you all the best
Tom
@Isolated Hi and so sorry you find yourself here and in this situation. i can’t offer any legal advice but i did take a summary of your situation and put it into the Gemini AI on line. The answers were long and nuanced and too long to post here, so I have listed the prompts that I used in sequence below. While this will not give you confirmed legal precedents, definitions and certainly shouldn’t be relied on as legal advice, it may give you starting points for further research and ways to approach this situation. I hope it helps:
I first asked:
A question regarding the death of a person and the estate that they left, UK law:
Person A is living with Person B. Person A is still married to Person C and they are in the process of getting divorced. Person A and C have not cohabited for 14 years. Person A dies with no will in place. Who has a right to his estate
Gemini then replied but it’s too long to put in a post.
I then asked:
A and B did not own a home but lived together. All of person A’s belongings are in this shared dwelling. B understands C has a right to A’s possessions neither B or C has any way of proving what was jointly owned between A and B and what was owned by A in entirety, ie who paid for what. Person B now wishes to move house and would like to dispose of some of A’s belongings, person C is being uncooperative and stalling on dealing with the estate of A, can B dispose of items that may form part of A’s estate
Again Gemini responded with a long reply.
I then posted:
Is a person able to access free legal advice in the UK
It may be that you have already tried this and had the same answers and so already have this information but I thought it may be worth posting in case you hadn’t. i really hope you are able to sort this, I know from experience how it feels to be left with all the bills to pay and little financial help, I know it’s difficult but try and do a little to address the situation each day, it soon adds up.
@Isolated
Sorting finances out after you have lost your loved one isn’t easy.You have your grief plus the financial situation. My husband died suddenly heart attack 7 months ago . His finances were a mess as he thought he had years to sort them out . The house hold bills were easy enough just took time to sort out . I had to get a solicitor to help. due to her charges. A lot of it we have done ourselves. I have had my son to help me . I go to a bereavement cafe in a church, you don’t have to be religious to go . There is someone there who will help sort people finances out if you need help. There is also someone to help with finances at the Gp . There is also citizen advice. I have had cruise counselling which I found beneficial. I don’t know if they help with finances. Hope you manage to find some help. Look after yourself
That’s brilliant @Walan
I would have never thought of doing that . Wish I’d have thought that 7 months ago when I was sorting my husband’s finances out that were in a mess .
I can only offer my condolences and hope that you hold onto any small, even tiny amount of hope. Life can give you something good out of this disaster… with time. I’ve seen situations so awful and yet they can and do turn around. Take care of yourself.
Sorry for your loss. I sympathise with you. My partner’s estate has been in probate for six months and I’m still not sure if I’ll have to leave the house. We weren’t married although together for 40 years. He didn’t leave a will. We had been talking about it but fate stepped in and he died suddenly. You really need legal advice as you may have a claim on part of the estate especially as his wife’s been absent for a long time. I know lawyers can be expensive but can sometimes be paid for out of the estate funds. It’s a difficult and stressful process especially when you’re already grieving. In the interim can you find a cheaper flat or stay with a friend? You could try Citizens Advice, they might be able to direct you especially regarding your fiancée’s belongings.
