I keep reading similar comments over and over again and it upsets and annoys me so much to know that we, the people who have lost our husbands and wives, are having to put on brave faces for our friends and family. Why on earth are they not the ones feeling compassion for us, why are we expected to smile until our faces ache just so we don’t upset their feelings or to make them think we are doing okay. We are not doing okay, we are falling apart, we have lost the loves of our lives and are facing a future without them. It makes it a million times worse when your so called friends and family are expecting you to be over it in a matter of weeks.
You can’t mention your loved one’s name to them without crying so you don’t, you can’t recall a memory and say, ‘do you remember when’, without crying, so you don’t, all we do is keep it to ourselves because we know if we talk about what we have lost to them the floodgates will open and heaven forbid if we upset anyone, so we don’t talk about what we have lost.
That is why this wonderful site helps us grieve the way we should be grieving, by talking about our feelings, crying our eyes out whilst we put into words how we feel, talk about our loved ones and what we have lost and know there are people that understand every single heartache we are going through.
No-one will ever understand the absolute pain of losing someone who was your soul mate until it happens to them, and it will happen to them one day and I for one hope I have the compassion to cry with them, listen to them no matter how long it takes instead of telling them, “now you know what I felt like” and then walk away.
Love to everyone going through this horrendous journey. After nearly four years I miss my husband of 47 years so much and I will never, ever get over him not being with me so I will cry every single day for him, and if my friends and family don’t like it, hard luck, because I honestly do not care what they think, this is my life, was my life I should say, and I would rather be alone than have to put on a brave face day after day whilst there is this horrible empty place where my heart once was, because the day he died, my husband took my heart with him.