Nostalgia

Coping with bereavement
#1

For those longer in bereavement, how does nostalgia help you cope?

Do you go back to when you were young, and watch those tv programs, that highlight when life was good, and your loved ones, were there?

I watch 1970s and later British programs, as they remind me of my childhood in England and later, as it reminds me of being in Norway with family. The Norwegians watch a lot of British programming. I just watched “Dandelion Dead” 1994 and now, “Melissa” 1974, when we lived in Kent. England seems to have really changed, since these times.

Just a comment of sentimental nostalgia!

:smiley:

#2

Can’t watch anything that takes me to childhood. Don’t think I will ever be able to watch Only Fools & Horses again as that is something I watched with dad.

Some people however do like to watch things that remind them of happier times, whatever works.

#3

Oh yes berit, I find watching old programmes on TV somewhat uplifting. We have a channel called ‘Talking Pictures’ where they re-run all the oldies. It does take me back, but I have learned to cope with any emotional problems that may arise. But as Abdullah says, whatever works. I don’t think there is anything wrong with being nostalgic, but if it upsets anyone then obviously, don’t do it.
Take care. John.

#4

@berit I think it depends on how you are feeling in that moment. My Dad passed on a Sunday and we used to always watch the MotoGP together (although I must admit when I was younger, I’d be doing something else) but it was his favourite. He was a true biker.
I’ve loved the last few weeks with it being back on, especially on a Sunday. At the beginning all I wanted to do was watch our favourite shows, movies and eat just how my Dad did. Now, I find it a little harder - like I’m trying to force myself back into depression.
I think it works for me on the days where I want to reminisce to myself. Talk to him. Pretend he’s still getting to enjoy it. When I feel I need to be keeping myself together - I avoid. Let it come and go naturally as it needs to but don’t deny it. It’s taken me almost 10 months to see the waves coming and respond to my feelings. Never ever any easier though.
Best wishes.

#5

I did the exact same … and interesting how you say, forcing yourself back into a depression.

I think that is evolution talking, pushing you forward. you “move on” naturally.

some things were too painful and too soon. I think that time heals that.

#6

I think what I mean is, you know how you’re going to feel when you watch/ read these things. For me, the devastation lasts for days after a trigger and I know it’s easier sometimes avoiding it. Unleash it when you know you have recovery time after it.

For me time is irrelevant. I feel the same as I did at the start. I’m always going to feel the same about losing my Dad young and no amount of time is going to make that better or easier. If anything it gets worse, how long it’s been since seeing them etc.

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