Not accepting grief

Hi all,
I lost my lovely grandmother in October. To cut a long story short, she was more of a second mother to me and we were incredibly close.
I’m feeling frustrated as I feel my own mind is not accepting the fact she has gone and is subconsciously blocking it out.
I haven’t grieved properly yet what with planning the funeral and then planning Christmas for my family. Now all that is over it’s like I’m waiting for everything to hit me.
I constantly have thoughts of “I’ll just ring my grandma and see if there’s anything she needs” or “i’ll pick my girls up from school and we’ll nip and see grandma”
In some way I feel guilty of the fact that we were incredibly close and my emotions aren’t doing that justice at all.
Has anyone else felt like this?

Thankyou for reading

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Dear @LK1207

I am sorry to hear of the loss of your grandmother. I see that you are new here, I hope you find the Community of be of support and comfort to you.
Everything you are experiencing is normal and part of the grieving process. Grief is a rollercoaster of emotions with good days and bad days, grief is a journey and not a race.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I would like to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that may help you in the mean time.

  • Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
  • Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via
  • Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through .

You need to be gentle with yourself and take one day at a time. You are not alone, we are all here to support you.

Take care.

Pepsi