Not coping very well

Hi, I’ve joined this group as I lost my beloved Gran in March this year. Even though she was 90, she was always fit and independent until just after Xmas when she started feeling unwell. She went to the drs and walk in centre numerous times with a pain in her stomach but was told it was constipation, even though she had no appetite and was losing weight. She had water leaking from her legs which the Dr had given her a course of antibiotics for but hadn’t cleared up. My 12 year old son and I found her in the floor one day and she couldn’t get up. To cut a long story short, she was taken to hospital, diagnosed with bowel and liver cancer and died all within 10 days.
I’m finding it hard to deal with the fact that ,my Gran had always talked openly about what she wanted her funeral to be like and how she wanted everyone to have a drink and good laugh at her wake., However, she passed right when lockdown started and her funeral was awful. We couldn’t see her in the chapel of rest, there were only 10 people allowed and no funeral cars, flowers or photos were allowed in the Crem. Basically we were there and back within an hour then that was it.
My Gran was a very popular person and she deserved to have the funeral she wanted. I feel like I can’t grieve for her like I should because she didn’t even have a wake. We are planning on arranging something when things have calmed down, but it’s not the same.
Sorry for the long winded post but is there anyone else feeling like this ?
Thankyou for taking the time to read x

Hi. Jayne22. Welcome. I have not suffered in the way you have, but I can identify with you in your grief. The lockdown has caused so much heartache and misery. Funerals being disrupted and only a few people allowed. But I am sure your gran would understand. You maybe can have a celebration of her life at a later date when things settle, and have that drink and a laugh as she wanted. Your post was NOT long winded, not at all. On this site we express our feelings knowing there will be no criticism of judgement. It’s very early for you to feel anything other than grief. Four months is so short a time in bereavement.
Take care and look after yourself. John.

Hi … I’m so sorry to read about your Gran. I agree with Jonathan … have a good old celebration of a previous long life! It’s well worth celebrating. My mum was 90 during lockdown so we haven’t celebrated her birthday yet. A long healthy a d happy life is so worth celebrating. By the time you can do this the sting if your Grans death will be a little less harsh so you can maybe have a laugh and a drink for her. I do hope you can …, de ding hugs from me. Sue :butterfly::butterfly:

Back to top