Not coping with sudden death of my dad

My dad passed in a head on collision on his way to work 5 months ago I’m struggling to cope but also try and look after my mum (disabled) my brother and 2 sisters. I have 2 small children plus suffer with bipolar/bpd and it just feels like everything is closing in on me and there is just not where to turn or run. My head is like a ticking time bomb but I can’t let my family down its almost like I’m having to pretend it’s happening to them and not me. I miss him so much

Hi
No wonder everything is closing in that’s an awful lot to deal with and I no you need and want to help but is there anything you can do or seek to lessen it? Your one person aside from the grief that’s a lot to be responsible
For grief ontop no wonder your feeling like it. Glad your reaching out to this site. Do you have any friends that could assist you with anything. Are you able to ask for help- I struggle asking and try and take it all on and crash. Just suggestions, do you get any time to yourself at all? Take care

I don’t really have any one apart from my family. It doesn’t help my brother has now turned to the bottle. At times I think it’s better to just cut every one off and sort my own head out but I can’t do that as I feel like I’m the only one holding it all together. Mum is very depressed verging suicidal I’m trying my best to get her out of the house as much as I can but sometimes it’s just impossible. I’m wait for a appointment with my psychiatrist and hopefully I will start to get a bit of help even if it’s just for me so I can continue to help the others.

I hope so take care of yourself x

Hi Theresa,

I’m so sorry to hear about your dad, and everything else that you are dealing with - you’ve got a huge amount on your plate. I’m really glad you will be seeing your psychiatrist - no one should have to deal with all of that alone without support.

Are your siblings in a position to help look after your mum? Perhaps not your brother if he is having problems with alcohol, but you also mention that you have sisters.

I’m sorry to hear that your mum is depressed - that must be so worrying. It is natural that she will be grieving, but concerning that you think she might be suicidal. Is she open to getting any support with this? You could make her an appointment with her GP to talk about this, or encourage her to call the Samaritans (116 123). They are open 24/7 for anyone who needs to talk, whether they have had thoughts of suicide or not.

Mind has some information about supporting someone who is having suicidal thoughts: https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/helping-someone-else/supporting-someone-who-feels-suicidal/how-to-help/

As she is disabled, and you are her carer, I wonder if you get any support with this? Carers UK has a helpline for information on getting a carer’s assessment and practical support: http://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advice/talk-to-us#adviceline

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