Lost my wife of 40 years 10 days ago, only 58 years old ! I am struggling with all kinds of emotions, not coping at all. Want and need her back even though i know its impossible, we did everything together and now i feel so lost and lonely. Please tell me it gets better ad i cannot carry on feeling like this much longer.
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Dear Tuppy,
I am so sorry for the loss of your wife. You have come to the right place here for support and understanding from everyone here who has suffered as you have.
You asked if it gets better. Well, I am three years in and I can only say I have learned to cope with it. I felt like you for a long time and I can’t say that ‘better’ is a word I would use but after a time, the hurt hides for a while so you can get on with things. Then it comes back, but once you know what to expect, it’s manageable. I am afraid if you love someone, when they go, you won’t get over it but you have a choice of living the best life you can, for them, because they can’t, or giving up. At first, giving up seemed the best way to go but my husband would have been so cross with me and would want me to carry on with my life. I am sure your wife, because she loved you, would want that for you too.
Yes, it’s a different life and not the life we chose and I felt like you at first but it has to be better than doing something to end it.
Take it day by day. You will get there, along with the rest of us. Let us know how you get on. You are not alone. Hugs, AnnRx
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Thank you for these wise words. They really helped me.
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AnnR you are right , my wife wanted me to continue but i am finding it so hard to come to terms with. It is so sad that people like us are in this terrible situation suffering the greatedt loss anyone can imagine. I am pleased you are able to function and hope one dsy i get there too. Thank you for taking the time to reply, i appreciate your help
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@Tuppy it’s 15 weeks since I lost my husband of nearly 37 years. Even after this short time it gets easier to cope with but not better. I posted another similar post yesterday explaining how I feel things change. It is so difficult to imagine a future without them. But like others have said I’m sure they would want us to try to live a life because they were cheated of theirs. Sending hugs.
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Jan17, thank you so much. Maybe it is too soon for me to deal with, i just hope i can find your strength and that of others to help me face the future on my own. Like you said, our partners have been robbed of their future, which also affects ours.
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Its so good to hear how others are feeling a the terrible emotions that it bring into your life. In late May I lost my wife a Brain Tumor after 57 years together and she was only 74.
Yes I feel as low as on cab and have opened up is it worth carrying on and YES it is especially as in my case 3 sons and 4 grandchildren.
Just reading the responses is a massive help to me and I am sure to many others.
to chat with others suffering in a similar way is very rewarding. I don’t know what the future will hold but I know what me wife would have wished for me to do, so I will try to keep positive, but always spend time remembering the happy life we had together. It is so reassuring to know (hear) that what I feel is quick ok and the guidance to keep going.
I thank all that contribute. Best Wishes Gordon
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@Tuppy I’m sorry for your loss. I lost my partner unexpectedly 25 weeks ago. He was only 57
It’s very early days for you, you will still be in shock of everything that’s happened.
I wouldn’t say life gets better it is just different. You start to learn to live with the grief. Some days are better than others but the grief is not as all consuming as it is in the beginning.
I found this forum helpful in knowing I am not the only one on this horrendous journey and I hope you do too.
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Many thanks for your words. It reassures me reading the many posts that for something you never think of before the passing that it is all very normal and tells me however low you feel its ok.
Many best wishes Gordon
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I am so glad. This is an awful time for us all and anything that helps has got to be good. All the best x
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