Not coping !

Having a really bad couple of days. 6 weeks since losing my amazing husband, it’s getting harder and harder to cope. I am losing the will to carry on. The kids are being great, but I can’t seem to motivate myself at the moment. I fed up seeing things on TV about bereavement it’s all it seems to be. Football fans and everyone else to do with the World Cup are calling their feelings as ‘heartbreak’ I wish that was the all I was heartbroken over. Yeah I’m having a rubbish day. I’m sure I’m pushing people away now, which isn’t the best thing to do. First day on my own tomorrow, very scared. Sorry to be so negative, I guess I’m not the only one feeling like this.

Hi Lesleym,

I’m so sorry to hear that you lost your amazing husband 6 weeks ago and that you’re having such a tough time at the moment. Losing a loved one is so painful and the grief we feel can be overwhelming. It’s understandable that you’re finding it hard to cope and find the will to go on.

6 weeks is such a short length of time when we have lost someone we loved. Try not to put pressure on yourself to find motivation for things. Grief is tiring and can also feel scary. When I lost my Mum I suddenly started feeling very scared and anxious, it’s very normal.

Do you have anyone close to you that you can talk to? There are many wonderful people in this community who will understand what you’re going through. You aren’t alone on here.

Please keep talking to us & take care for now. Trudy x

Yes I do have people to talk too, my sister. Although I think I say to much for her to hear. Once I start talking about my feeling I can see the fear in her eyes. So best keep my thoughts to myself. Thanks for your reply

Lesley

Hi Lesley

I know exactly how you are feeling right now. It’s 8 weeks since losing my husband, so for both of us it’s only a very short time. I find weekends incredibly hard as everywhere there are couples and it rubs salt in the wound at the moment. If you need a chat I’m here for you, and I’m finding it quite reassuring from other posts that others feel exactly the same. Take care Jennie x

Hi Jennie,
Thanks for you reply. Yeah the weekends are very difficult, all I see is families and couples enjoying life. Enjoying the life I used to have. I have 3 wonderful children and a large family on my side and my husbands side, but I still feel so lonely. The nights are so long, then facing the morning is so cruel, having to tell myself, it’s true, not a bad dream !!! As I hope it is.

I just can’t see how to come to terms with it all, I really don’t know what to do ? It’s getting harder by the day. Everyone else’s problems seem to be so trivial, so I find myself saying things to others when they off load, ‘you think that’s bad, try walking in my shoes’ and I know I shouldn’t, I just can’t help it. I just want my old life back.

Thanks again.

Lesley

Lesley, everything you are saying in your message relates totally to me. Unless someone has lost their partner there is no way on earth they know what real grief is. I too have 3 wonderful children, grandchildren etc and a tight knit family, but as you say the nights and mornings are horrendous - last night I dreamt about my husband and it was so real I was convinced he was there beside me but sadly no … I met my husband when I was 15 and he was 18 (I’m 69) and we have never been apart until now - I feel numb, empty and almost detached from reality. We probably won’t ever come to terms with our loss, but will learn to live with it hopefully as they would have wanted us to, nothing can take the memories away from us and they may just be enough to get us through. Take care and know you are not alone, there are many people feeling like we do right now.

Jennie x

Hi hun you are not alone everything you have said is exactly how im feeling my children are doing great me however im really struggling with life i lost my partner 6 months ago all iv done is cry and just getting by each day like yourself i have pushed people away cuz all i want to do is talk about it all but have found not many still do and thats what hurts the most i really hope you feel better soon hunx

Hello Lesleym I am so sorry for you ,it is very early days for you yet and you will still be shock , I do hope that the first day on your own went as good as it could be ,how old are your children . You will live love as you have to for your children as hard as it is .take care my love for now Teresa xxxxx

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