It has been 8 months now since my beautiful son Luke died, I received a horrific phone call from the patholigist. I was already in shock from his sudden unexpected death, then double shock from the patholigist, I was traumatized for 10 weeks. Time has gone on the funeral and interment done and more recently an inquest. I am receiving counselling but still not coping with the loss of him. I am trying to do normal activities but not coping inside.
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I lost my son in August this year- it was sudden and traumatic. He was only 22 and lived at home. He was/is a sensitive , loving , beautiful soul.
I thought as we always spoke about his anxiety and he said it was a feeling that would pass and he appeared functioning he was having the right support. I’ve got horrific guilt/ regret that he wasn’t given the right help and support and ache with sadness every waking moment. I have a daughter who needs her mother so try to carry on as best I can and my mother is severely disabled after a stroke so I try and keep my routine going. I thought a mother’s love and intuition would keep my son safe. Just to let you know that I’m thinking of you - everyone feels the pain of grief in their own way and nothing can take it away.
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I feel exactly the same as you the sadness inside is all consuming. Although my son did not live with me, he had is own place, I thought he was having the care of doctor’s, carer and girlfriend. I visited weekly but did not know the full extent of the situation had Ihave known I would have intervened and got him the right help, he may have still been alive, this is my regret. I keep replaying everything in my mind. The more time goes by othet people don’t want to talk about it and some days I feel better not talking about it but the feelings remain, I have only recently been going to bed at night. Please take care and keep in touch.
It’s a relief to know you understand the all consuming, gut -wrenching regret which makes it hard to function. Hopefully the feelings will become more manageable and not so extreme. Sending kind and peaceful thoughts to you.
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I hope life becomes better for both of us, as I have been thinking the rest of my life would feel like this. Love and best wishes to you.
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Viv1
I lost my 35 year old son in January and I’m still so deep in the pain. Honestly when I hear people tell me it will get better I don’t believe them. I want to tell them they know nothing, losing a child is heart breaking. Also I feel if I ‘get better’ I’m disrespecting him. I’ll never receive a silly message via facebook or another selfie with his wife and stepson.
I’m on two lots of antidepressants and still crying. It hits me over and over.
Take care of yourself x
I lost my son in August, I can barely function at the moment, taking it day by day and struggling as the world keeps moving forward but my life stopped 4 months ago. Keep chatting to other bereaved parents help as only bereaved parents understand the pain we feel
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Yes I agree with you totally. I was a bit hesitant about joining the online community but felt so much relief to know other parents can understand how you feel.
Taff
I understand, this pain is so all consuming, our child is no longer here when they should be. It’s been 10 months and I’m still swamped with how unfair it is that my beautiful boy has no future. As parents we do not expect to lose our children, I cling onto the fact that I love him so very much.
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