Not coping

It’s 5 weeks since I lost my fantastic wife and it’s getting worse.
Yesterday and today I’ve spent crying I miss her so much I can’t function.
She was my world and the world has ended.

Oh William my heart goes out to you. I hope you can find strength to go forward. Your wife would have wanted you to continue on.

I thought I was coping but it’s hit me like a train today I am lost.

My brother is going through a terrible time also and I don’t know how to help him. His wife is dying and for his own safety he has bee addmitted to a psychiatric hospital. I hope you find help and encouragement from friends and family.

I’m 52 she was only 51 I can’t see her,can’t talk to her,can’t hold her,can’t kiss her,can’t do this.

I lost my beloved husband on the 12th July,we were married 28 years.I am doing the same,crying,tired,weak and really dont want to live without him.And i really miss caring for him.The house is empty,no one to talk to.No one to eat with.Cant sleep even though i am exhausted.Your not on your own believe me.

I’m so sorry for your loss.
I thought I was coping but I’m not.
My wife died of cancer we only had three weeks from diagnosis to death no symptoms before this. Life is just awful now and we have our first grandchild due on Saturday.She was so looking forward to meeting her and to think she won’t see or hold her just breaks my heart even more.

Thats terrible you only had 3 weeks together before she died after all those years.I knew my husband had cancer,but at Christmas they said it was in remission and could go on for years.Then i went to see him,he had a bladder infection,at the hospital,all the nurses said he was doing great.I approached the bed and he was obviously in a coma.Couldnt speak to me,couldnt even eat,drink.That was the 10th July,he died on the 12th, feel like dying myself and its a daily war not to end things.We had a saying in our family,if one dies,their soul goes into a newborn in the family.We said,when ones dies,another is born.Be strong William especially at night and knocking about on your own,its horrid,and cry,i do,i am crying now.The power of love and devotion is almighty,atleast we both experienced it william with our beloved partners.Some people never know what it is.

Yes only 3 weeks the bowel cancer had spread to her liver,ovaries and lymph nodess.
She never got a chance to fight and died in pain.I am not very spiritual but I hope you are right about her soul because a better soul you could not have.
She didn’t drink or smoke and lived for our three children who are absolutely broken our whole family is broken and I can’t fix it.
I loved her to bits and I know she loved me for 30 years which was wonderful as some people never get that but it is so hard to cope knowing if god spares that I’ll be without her for years.I am also crying writing this the tears won’t stop.
Thanks for your support and you be strong also.


Ah William, I’ve been exactly where you are now - the gut wrenching feeling that your very reason to exist has gone. I wanted to smash up all my things because I realised they weren’t important at all. The thing most important to me had been taken away.
My wife wanted a mole removed but the ‘specialist’ disagreed. My wife was right, the specialist was wrong and 5 weeks from starting to feel ill, this time last year, I lost my beautiful Bea.
She’d still be here if she’d had that 20 minute op.
What you are going through is normal and eventually will subside - and then come back and hit you like a train when you are least expecting it.
I don’t wail anymore or weep when I look at her pictures but the tears still flow, like now as I’m writing this.
The best you can do is look after yourself. Eat what you can, sleep when you can, nothing else is important.
Take care,

I’m so sorry for all your pain I too am experiencing the desperation and loneliness. My husband died 4 weeks ago . He was only 36 we had been married 9 years and have a 4 and 5 year old together … today I went out with my family just to a market … and it was horrendous I felt overwhelmed by just being around a lot of busy people . I was angry seeing them happy kids with there dads … apparently this is normal but feels anything but normal … I have to carry on for my babies but I’m exhausted… it’s luke Groundhog Day over and over

Thanks for your support and I’m very sorry to hear of your loss.
It’s so unfair I went with my son to a local football match today and watched everyone enjoying themselves it was like I was on the outside looking in I just wanted to scream.

Hi William I’m so sorry for your loss I’ve been through what you are experiencing now for over two years now I was 53 when my Robert died you will have good days and bad days but believe me you will get there just take each day as it comes I’m not saying the pain will go away because it doesn’t but you just learn to live with it I’m here anytime you need a wee chat you take care x

There just doesn’t seem to be any point to anything I’m going on auto pilot waiting to go to bed not sleeping and then getting up all over again.Watching the kids suffering and not being able to fix things is soul destroying. We just miss her so much.

Yes, seeing older couples walking arm in arm always got me. It’s what I wanted, to grow old together. We didn’t even make retirement.
The world just carries on, oblivious of our loss - always has, always will.
You will get through this dreadful period believe me,It takes time. That doesn’t mean you will ever forget her. I think about my wife every day and I’m reminded of her in everything I see and everything I do
The main thing is to look after yourself and do what works for you.
Take care

Thanks for your support but it’s all too difficult to deal with.
My only daughter is 24 and has lost not only her mum but her best friend and only female role model an d last night it hit her bad and she broke down and I tried my best to comfort her but she wants her mum because that’s what her mum was good at making things right.
It is so overwhelming

I know. My wife and daughter were also best mates. They would go shopping together, give each other style advice.
You are doing the right thing, grieving and supporting each other.

Hey William,
How are you?

How totally I share your feelings of struggling to go on, but it is only 3 weeks since my beautiful husband died. Like your wife, Haich, the specialist missed the growing cancer, and had he been more alert my husband would be here now. This community of fellow sufferers is one of my lifelines when, as now, I am in total despair, thinking oh god is this to be my life.? If so I don’t want it.

Dear Toria,
Every person is different but for me the first 6 months were the worst. I didn’t think it was possible to cry so much. Sometimes I’d be OK then the next day I’d be in tears again. After one particular bad three days I suddenly had a ‘vision’ in my head. I’m sure it was my brain pulling out memories of my wife and what she’d say but she put her hand on my arm, looked me in the face and said emphatically, ‘you have a duty to live your life, I didn’t have the chance but you do’.
I still have teary times but I haven’t completely broken down since then. That’s not to say it won’t happen again.
I wouldn’t believe anybody who told me at the time but life does get less… devastating , easier to cope. It’s a year now since she first became ill. I’m just so sad she’s not here.
Take care,