Not every day is positive

I’m usually positive and i have comments saying that people love my positivity but today is hard.
I know why and I’m really trying to rise above it and I guess that’s it’s good I know why.
While up here helping me, my mum and dad were burgled, I took them home on Friday and the place was a mess. Thankfully they were here and all will be ok and they are both well and unfaised.
Since Tuesday they had been a smell in the house, that I can’t get to the root of and it’s getting worse, smells like sewage and it’s now really worrying me, I don’t know who to call to help out, where to start.
It’s days like this that I trundle down a hole and go into self pity.
Why did I have to lose him?
What’s the point?
What did I do, that deserves this pain?
Why couldn’t I have the happy?
It’s time like this when things get too much that I realize I don’t have him to share in the sorting, don’t have him to help get it fixed, I haven’t got him to tell me it’s ok we’ll get it sorted! Just having him to share the worry,
Today is a hard day! Today I just want to give up and stop fighting.

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@Ali29 i am so sorry to hear about your parents being burgled, there are so many awful people about. So pleased they are ok.
I totally get what you say about trying to be positive and then being knocked back when the realisation that your loved one can’t help hits you with full force. It’s happened to me when I had a bad water leak in the airing cupboard, panic really set in.
I hope you soon find the source of the smell,
xx

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@Ali29 Sounds like we’re having similar weekends, and it really is shit. When I have days like yours I look at things and say to myself what need done to day? If ‘sorting myself out’, getting myself back level comes out top then I just go with that decision and try and think of what i can do that will hopefully get me back to where I think I should be. For me that usually takes the form of some type of long walk, I can get out be in touch with nature, be with my wife, sort through things and always be surprised by what I see out there that I wasn’t expecting. More often than not it helps at least to change my perspective. All the problems are there when I get back but it’s usually a different me that’s coming through the door to face them. I think it’s because it gives me a bit of confidence, i can make that decision to go out and the world didn’t fall apart. LAtely I’ve come realise a that a big part of this grief process for me is rebuilding my confidence in my own abilities, like you I don’t have my wife any more to bounce things off, find reassurance and laugh at mistakes. So for me, just deciding to focus on sorting myself at times is a way of regaining that confidence.

I hate those weeks when it all just mounts up and gets to “What the Fxxx is going on?” Kick, kick . Kick, had enough? No? Well here’s some more KIck, Kick, Kick. But let’s be honest, you’ve made it here after the worst thing that could happen and it’s you that usually does the kicking. I had a very rough day yesterday, i cried a lot. Today, somehow I’m back, a little bit different but holding it together again. Keep on kicking.

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On a practical side, the smell. No idea of your situation or what you have tried, but have you tried closing all the doors and going round to see which room the smell is strongest in?

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@walan. Thank you. Just got back from a walk but will need another later. I love being out whatever the weather, even a windy wet day can blow all the cobwebs away.
The smell is in the kitchen mostly, I’m having a huge panic that they may have to rip up my kitchen or bathroom, it doesn’t seem to be outside. Have done the sink unblocker , you know the obvious things but it’s still here.

@Ali29 Aye multiple walk days, know that one :roll_eyes:

Right I really am no expert but if its in the kitchen things that I would check would be the u bend from the sink, might be something in there, if you can take it of and check that’s the best. The trap or pipes on the washing machine? I’ve never owned a dishwasher but I imagine they have similar problems. You have probably tried all this and I am mansplaining :rofl:

Also my fridge has an overflow type thing at the back on the outside could be that?

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Oh Ali sorry you’re having a bad day. It really is hard trying to be positive all of the time. I find any problem that takes me away from my safe routine knocks me for 6 these days, and all my strength to try and deal with it.
I’m glad your mum and dad are doing ok after such an awful experience.
With regards to the unidentified smell. I know you said it’s not from outside but it’s definitely not from farmers muck spreading! I had an awful farm yard smell in my house last week. I thought one of the pets had messed in the house, looked everywhere then realised what it was when I went outside. I assume you have checked the fridge and made sure no one has spilt milk somewhere and not cleared it up.
Good luck in finding the source. You are strong, you will solve the problem. Xx

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Love the mansplaining. I will have a go. Fridge tricky as in a cupboard, taller than me, fitted. We thought it was a good idea lol. It’s all good till it’s needs taking out!
Thanks for the tips!

@Doughtyj yes, will look. We did have milk spill in fridge but cleaned it all up and did think it muck spreading as right near loads of fields, farm etc.
May have to get someone out to investigate but that usually ends up being a figure with a few 00 on lol.

Also it’s Sunday and that’s never good! Hope you’re ok x

I’m trying to have a positive day. Out to lunch but like you hate Sunday’s.
Hopefully see you later x

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Haven’t got a friendly practical neighbour? I am lucky. I have. My husband was also a Freemason so I can always call on them. Sent me a retired electrician when I needed one.

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Update: Severn Trent coming out Tuesday to investigate. Typical, it’s the day I’ve planned to go out. Fingers crossed they done before then.

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So it could be the drains. Hopefully they come when they say they will and even better find and solve the problem

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@Ali29 sorry you are having such a bad day. Hopefully, it’s just a blip on the journey and will be sorted soon. @Walan totally get the kick, kick thing. This grief journey seems to also rob us of our resilience. I often feel like someone’s having a laugh at my expense. Sending kick after kick. Just got to get back up and carry on but it’s not easy.

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Ring up your water supplier ! They can put a dye in your supply to find out where the leak is !!! Happened to us in our other house and one of the pipes had burst and there was stagnant water under the house and it didnt half smell xx
Btw they dont charge either !!! Xx

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Update: Found the smell. All sorted @Walan it was the fridge. Who knew a fridge could smell so bad.

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I must admit that this is something I panic about now. I have never had a sense of smell, some blockage somewhere which can’t be fixed, so I wouldn’t know if the cats had bought it a bird and left it rotting somewhere or if something had gone mouldy in the fridge! Keef had a fantastic sense of smell and I now realise that I relied on him to detect such things, maybe I should go and live with my daughter so then at least she can detect things.
At least you’ve finally got it sorted.

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Yes, my security in all things has significantly changed. If Rich had been here, it would not have been an issue at all, just a shared problem that we would have sorted. Although, I did sort it, it caused a lot of stress in the process. Eventually I will get used to it. It’s all a learning curve.

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Oh yeh … my seal went on my fridge few months ago and it smelt ! Had to get a new fridge… x

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