I thought the worst bit lays behind me. Nearly all first ones done. Out of the blue I am back to day one. Crying a lot, not knowing how to face the future. Every day I make myself doing a challenge to come out of this valley. It is now 6 months and I struggle that lot of people don’t speak about him and. It is like he never existed. Come back to normal! How? There is no normal. I can’t go home to my partner like the others, can’t make more memories together, talking about the day. From diagnosis till death we had 2 weeks. Still can’t believe our life is over. Is it really that the first year is not the worst? Apparently 2 and 3 are even more difficult. Omg
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Hey,
Am 14 months in and its defo not getting any easier for me.
Everyone is different and handle grief differently. I hope you start to find it easier asap.
Sending all my love to you xxx
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Thanks Claire, some days are okish I am grateful he didn’t have to suffer, but seeing couples in our age then I am struggling why can they be together and we can‘t.
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@Verena I lost my husband suddenly 4 months ago. He was 53. Went to work on the Saturday and came home on the Sunday and he was gone. No closure no answers. Life is so unfair and so cruel. I often think no more making memories and all our future plans and dreams have gone. I met a few people who are ahead in their grief and seem to be doing well. Not sure I will though and not I want to move on without my lovely hubby xx
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Hi there,
I’ve just joined the community and posted I’m a mess….
17 weeks ago I lost my darling.40 years together.
I am so lost, in pain and crying all the time despite having a wonderful family.
I so understand your feelings and having to cope with other people either ignoring as they are not sure what to say or say ‘it will get easier’. It’s not, it’s getting harder and sunny days don’t help!
I’ve only read a few posts here but am so glad to have found this community. I don’t feel quite as alone now. I’m not sure I’ve got the hang of where to post yet, but just want to say thank you for being here and yes Verena, I get it. Not sure how I can help yet, but you are not alone either……
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Hazel I do understand you so well. Our whole world turned upside down. X
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Hi Millybagel,
I agree it is wonderful that this group exists. I think people here are the only one that do understand your crying out of the blue and mood swings. I wish all of us strength for this lonely journey. Loved what I read before: I am not a widow. I am a wife to a husband with wings
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Hi @Milly456 just read your post and I am sorry this has happened to you. My suddenly lost my husband 17 weeks ago at Christmas. He was 53. No closure and no answers. I have notice that some people have not message me since the funeral though they wrote that they will support me in my husband memory book. I do have some good friends though who keep in touch. Like you I don’t like sunny days because you see other couples out and I would be out with my husband. Life is so unfair and cruel.
I see that you are from the same area as me Xx
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Thank you for your kind words Hazel
I nursed my partner at home as she had a brain tumour. It was awful and she SO brave bless her.
Like you it still doesn’t seem real, but the pain of her loss is…
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It’s like we have a new life which I hate and wish I could have back my old life which I was happy in. It is good that she had you to care for her though I expect you wanted your partner for many years to come xx
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Just wanted to check in and say hi to you all. It’s 5 months ago today I lost my partner of 40 years.
It’s not getting any easier and everyday there is a trigger that results in uncontrollable pain and weeping and wailing.
I hope you are all ‘managing’ day to day and think of how we are all suffering unbearable losses that we are supposed to cope with……….I ain’t coping🥹
how about you guys………
I just want to be with her………
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@Milly456 I have been really struggling with all the bank holidays and my husband and myself was meant to be going to Cyprus tomorrow for our holiday. Missing him so much. Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary and should of had another 30 years together. Can’t see how I am going to live the rest of my life without him. So unfair and cruel. None of my other close friends have lost a husband at a younger age and most probably never will. It does make you wonder what have you done so wrong in life to have this life sadness. Take care and big hugs xx
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Thank you Hazel. It’s just all consuming and so painful isn’t it?
I just can’t bear it some days and just want out. Can’t do that to the family though……
So sorry about your holiday. Yep long weekends and sunshine really don’t help, just compound the pain.
Day by day. Hour by hour
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hi @Milly456 definitely know what you mean. Most days I wish I wasn’t here but have a son of 23 who is broken losing his dad so can’t do that to him either. My friend said that the sunshine doesn’t match my mood which is true. Just wish this never happened and I could have my old life back. God how do we cope with this! I also notice that we live in the same city xx
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That’s what I feel. All the memories I have now to make alone as I can’t share it with him .
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I think we all feel from time to time that we are not able to cope anymore. Autopilot is still working for me
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I really do hope that one day a kind of normal life will start.
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I agree! Thanks God for the community
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