Not grieving

I lost my mum 3 weeks ago to pulmary fibrosis even tho the end was quiet peaceful she struggled and suffered for weeks/months not been able to get her breath even just trying to sit up to eat was so exhausting for her. I can’t wish her back to that and wished her to go at the end as she had suffered enough and I just feel so guilty. I don’t feel like it’s quiet real and can’t grieve, I’m sad and when I hear a song or think I must ring Mam and tell her it hits me but I can’t believe she’s gone. I thought the funeral would bring it home and as sad as it was it doesn’t feel any more real and I’m quiet angry that the world keeps turning and everyone is just carrying on. I know my dad feels the same and also feels quiet guilty because we feel relieved her suffering is over. I know she has gone and my heart feels heavy but my head just won’t catch up! I guess this is normal by what I’ve read but think I just needed to share it with people who understand. Thank you for reading :heart: Xx

I know how you are feeling two years ago I had to turn my husbands ventilator off and then 12 weeks later his brother who is not married and has mental problems went missing he was found but I have had to get him into full time care and twelve months ago my dad died I have never cried and it’s all still so unreal but all you can do is take each day as it comes

So sorry for your losses and thank you for your reply I will just consentrate on each day as it comes instead of worrying about the weeks and months thank you xx