Not having a good day

Not having a good day today I feel so deflated and unhappy I just keep thinking of jim and crying he’s been gone since August but it feels like yesterday I think I’m going mad or having a break down I’m got no interest don’t want to eat can’t sleep . I’m seeing a mental health nurse next week but don’t know what she can do I feel dead on the inside I’m fed up with having to put a happy face on when in company and as soon as I close front door I’m howling like a mad woman tears are.running.down my face. I’m rang about counselling but it’s a waiting list you just can’t get people when you need them. I just what the pain to go away but it’s like groundhog day same thing everyday I’m lost so much weight not a diet I would recommend . I’m cold sitting with coats and dressing gown on gloves and hat can’t put heat on as to expensive wish government could see how people in the real world have to live we can’t all afford parties and the good life. Sorry to go on but it’s all my frustration coming out. Thanks for reading the ramblings of an old woman (59) I feel more like 89


Awe bless, there’s not much I can say, I’ve just reached the 5 week mark since losing my husband. We were together for 11 years and would have been married 3 years this March. It’s his birthday coming up on the 29th of this month so I’ve had to somehow deal with losing him on the 10th of December, then Christmas, then New Year, then the funeral and now his birthday looming followed by valentine’s Day approaching… On top of that I feel like work is starting to put pressure on me going back. This is hard, so hard. It’s something I did not expect to have to cope with for many years. I’m 50 and my husband was 66, he had been poorly for a while and had had a few operations but this came from nowhere, 24 hours of hell, i didn’t really know anything about sepsis until that Thursday night. Keep as strong as you can for yourself, do what you feel is right for you. I don’t think there is any eady fix, if there’s a fix at all. People I know who have lost their husbands keep telling me that this doesn’t go away but you do learn to live with it, I’m not sure how I feel about that, only being a few weeks in, so we’ll have to see. Keep well, my thoughts are with you x


Sorry misprint I understand it’s 13moth since love of my life passed I’m out in garden don’t no what I’m doing I have lovely neighbours came along with me a hot toddy and a sit down it’s being 13 months for me it’s so blooody hard and it’s so cold lv annie x x

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