Not sure what I need.

Hi all,

I hope this is the right place to post this.

My Dad died back in Feb this year. It was very fast, Myself and my Step Mum cared for him at their home up until he died.
I am now realizing how traumatic this was. I have never been in that situation before, and had hoped it would be peaceful, but it wasn’t.
I haven’t really stopped since his funeral, I have two young children and work full time, and don’t really have a moment to breath. I think I probably need to deal with the trauma of being there at the end/the speed etc. If anyone can off any advice here I would be really grateful, as I am just not sure where to start.
Thank you.

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Hi,
I empathise fully with the trauma which is exactly the correct description of what you experienced.
The same situation happened to me when I lost my dad some 12 weeks ago…being there at the end…not a nice experience…I don’t know what more to say to you except…Good luck.
Patrick

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Hi Patrick,

Sorry to hear you have had the same experience, it’s horrible isn’t it?
I know people go thorough this all the time, everyday, but it just feels so big somehow.
Really appreciate your message, and good luck to you too.

Hi,
I’m in an opposite situation to yourself as I’m single, no kids and was daddy’s full time carer for 12 years aside from being my father for 52 years. I’m devastated but what can we do??? Nothing really but talk,talk and talk some more. I’ve actually had a one to one with a lovely lady from a local support group but it’s no magic bullet :pensive: anyway :blush:
Patrick

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Sorry me again, my point being I was actually with her this morning and I told her about witnessing daddy’s passing,I actually still think that I’m in shock and she actually agreed…as long as God keeps me on this earth I will never forget it.

Hi @Rachey2022, I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your dad and how traumatised you’re feeling due to witnessing his passing.

As you say, it can be hard to know where to start - I’m glad that you’ve taken the step of reaching out to the community for support. I also wanted to share some of our resources with you that might help. We offer an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: www.sueryder.org/counselling.

We have also recently launched a Grief Self-Help Service, which provides articles and interactive tools to help you cope with grief. You can take a look here: selfhelp.sueryder.org.

@patrick1, we’re really glad to hear you’re getting some 1-1 support locally. Please do take a look at the options above as well, if you think some extra support might be helpful.

Welcome to the community @Rachey2022, you are not alone.

Take care
Seaneen
Online Community Manager

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Thank you Seaneen, that is really helpful.

@patrick1, I feel for you. Having the children helps to take my mind off the grief, as I just have to keep going. But sometimes a stop would be nice.
I will also never forget witnessing Dads death. I am glad I was there, as that is what he wanted, but what a thing to go through.

Hello.
I’m so sorry. I feel tour shock and pain, just the same…

Your in shock still. Reeling and not able to breathe. It hasn’t sunk in…

You need some peace and time to reflect. Then your grief is going to change. It will feel like a ton of bricks on your chest but I believe it’s part of the process.

I’m stuck too in a hole of grief. I have moments of just quiet on my own and I cry and I talk to her photo.
I put energy into who might need from me…but in truth I also don’t know what to do with the grief.

It’s awful isn’t it?

I think the stages don’t have time limits. The shock part for me still lingers there and for you it was February.

I’m sorry for you x

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Being there at the end of a parents life is a privilege some people don’t get to have however it’s always going to be traumatic because no one ever wants their loved loves to leave us.:cry::broken_heart:
My father died 8 yrs ago this August and I was on holiday when he passed away on my birthday. My Mother died 6 weeks ago in hospital in front of me. Maybe it was traumatic but I wouldn’t have had it any other way. I love and miss her with all my heart and NO one can understand or appreciate that loss… it’s a lonely place to be.
Thinking of you, time does heal but it’s a lonely/ personal journey…try to be kind to yourself and be patient. Remember all the good times and they with bring warmth and joy in times of darkness.
Hugs xx

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Thank you everyone for your messages, they really do help.

Sending warmth to everyone in a similar position.

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