My nan passed away 6 years ago and my grief has never subsided. She was like my mum and she died suddenly and I feel like I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye. I feel a fraud reaching out to a community like this where I’m sure people have had worse times…there is that thought that because it’s your nan it’s kind of expected but that doesn’t make your heart hurt any less.
I’m not entirely sure what I am reaching out for. Maybe some tips on how to make this easier? Do I need professional help? Is grieving for this long “normal.”
I feel guilty for not seeing her as much, I feel guilty for not being there the day she passed (I used to always stay with her on a Saturday) I feel guilty for not pushing her last wishes harder. I feel so much anger and pain and guilt. I just don’t know what I’m asking you guys… Maybe it’s just an opinion.
Hi. You loved your nan so much…because someone isn’t physically around doesn’t stop us loving them and in some ways they never leave us
The shock of someone dying suddenly has its own repercussions. It takes some time for reality to sink in. You say you have some guilt and anger issues…not uncommon when we lose someone we love.
I have read some books about coping with grief and personally I found these very helpful. On the issues of guilt and anger the books suggested asking yourself…what are the issues that you feel guilty or angry about. Identify these, then ask yourself, realistically could you have changed the situation? Perhaps you are being too hard on yourself. Be kind to yourself. If you can’t figure this out alone perhaps you need to talk to someone who is able to help by taking you through the necessary steps. There is such support on this site.
I wish you the very best and hope you will find support and help soon. Annette xx
Hi there are no time limits on grief ,you loved your nan and still do,I have lost many some over 20years ago,my man and dad,a brother 18 years ago and my hubby this year,I think we carry the grief in our hearts forever because of the love,please try not to feel any guilt,your nan would not want you too,and please don’t feel like a fraud ,you have lost someone you loved and you are grieving,you are entitled to your grief,just like us all,I know our loved ones,who loved us here still love us and want us to live here the best we can,hugs x