Nothing much changes

It’s now 1 year and almost 3 months since Eve died. Pretty much everything I have read assures me I should, by now, be learning to live with my grief. It isn’t happening. I have no family and all “friends” faded away within 2 weeks of the funeral. I have a rescue cat. I don’t go out unless I absolutely have to. The only person I talk to is my cleaner once a week. But I’m not lonely. I miss Eve more and more. I cry every day (I know it’s for me I’m crying and not for her) and can’t seem to stop. I don’t sleep much, don’t eat much. I can’t understand why I am still here. I have no purpose in my so-called life.
It doesn’t “go away” or get easier. Not for me. I’m 80 and know this is going to be how it is until my turn comes. I just hope it comes soon. While Eve was ill (6 years with dementia; I was her sole carer) I sometimes tried to imagine what it would be like to not have her here after nearly 60 years. I don’t remember what conclusions I came to, but I do know the reality is a 100 times worse than I ever could imagine.
I just wish I could die and get it over with.


I’m so sorry you are suffering like this. I do feel that the time people have spent together and how intertwined there lives are does affect how we live after we lose a loved one and how we go forward.

My partner was only 49 when he died suddenly and unexpectedly, we only got to have 16 years together but by far, they were the best years of my love. He loved me in a way I only dreamt of, I felt incredibly safe and secure.

I don’t know what the next stage of my life will be but I could potentially live another 30/40 years. I just hope I can have a life that makes me happy. To live the rest of time in this grief, well, what’s the point.

I do feel it is my responsibility to make a life for me that I can enjoy until I get to meet my man again. There are so many factors that put us in the positions we end up in and I feel I’m lucky to have family and friends to help. To be alone or in a situation where it’s a real struggle must be so incredibly hard. I wish you all the best.


Hello, it’s not surprising how you feel, it will take a long time to come too terms with your loss after 60+ years together, a whole lifetime, why are you here? You’ve given a stray cat a loving home & your supplying your cleaner we it’s a wage, the only thing I can.suggest is that you think.of things that give you pleasure & do more of that, for example if you enjoy music play more of it, enjoy food? Treat yourself to a takeaway delivery once a week? Enjoy a hair cut book in for every few weeks? Could you help with some sort of fundraising for the local cat rescue?


I’m so sorry for your loss, your grief and your pain. I don’t have a solution but I hope that in time you’ll find some things you can enjoy x


i’m feeling this way too but it’s only been a week for me, but i’m afraid this is how i will feel months, years and decades down the road, im only 24 and if i were to die tomorrow i would be pretty happy about it considering i would be reunited.

i’m trying to figure out what my new “purpose” will be and trying to bring meaning back into my life, im not sure how or where i’ll find it but i’m considering going to the dr to get on antidepressants and hopefully that will help me a bit

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