I can hear my Richard saying t me in his abrupt tone and voice when i am saying to him in the morning it is cold in hear i am putting the heating on…he would say from his bedroom or wherever he was during the day…" well put the heating on " I always thought his tone was abrupt but it was just his way of telling me if i am feeling cold to just put the heating on then, nothing more nothing less…of course now it is me taing over all the houselhold bills as he done this from day one when we started living together 18 years ago so i had no idea even of what we were paying let alone who we were using for our water, our heating, our gas suplers, you see he was the old fashion type, taking good care of the household bills and providing well for me…To say i am reluctant each time i put the heating on, i make sure it does not stay on all day ;like it once did, i am now the one who has to cut back with the spending, the utility bills, before i had no worries as this was from day one taken care of by my Richard…It is not just the sudden and unexpected loss of ones partner but the after effects we are now faced with taking over the home running responsibility…
I’m now suddenly financially responsible for all the bills. I hadn’t even registered my mothers death, before council tax bill came through in my name. It has suddenly got cold. The heating does really need to go on now. It’s all an adjustment. New roles.
I am living this nightmare. My husband died in September. He shouldered every financial and household responsibility. Now it is just me, I don’t even know where he filed things on computer. Everyday stuff he took care of and I never worried about. Selfish of me I realize now.
Yes i too had life so easy, too easy, all these things i so took fro granted from day one that my Richard took care of…all i had to do was buy our three dogs foods as he left this up to me which brand of dog food i chose to feed them on…
Morr…
…we weren’t selfish ( yes maybe we took it all for granted ) it was just the old fashioned way our menfolk are brought up - were…they solely took care of the wife - there female partner, they believed this was there duty, this was the word my Richard used, it was his duty to be the provider, and he was, he did…It was not too long ago i said to my Richard that if anything ever happened to you i wouldn’t have a clue, well it did happen to him, and i had to learn the hard way…I still have no idea how i have gotten this far and i still have a long way to go…