Of all things to bring on the tears again

Who would have believed that relinquishing my ownership of a holiday points system (similar to timeshare) would be the next thing to trigger tears yet again.
It somehow symbolises the end of the holidays we spent together and as a family of four and reminds me of what I have lost all over again.

Logic tells me it is the right thing to do as it is expensive and the idea of going to those places without my darling Richard is something I simply can’t face. Sitting in the same resorts where we spent many evenings together when the girls were small and even driving the familiar journeys is all too much so why is giving that up making me cry? Who knows - grief has no logic!

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Oh Karen, I totally get this. We had just bought a little holiday home abroad, our dream. However a few months later my husband passed away unexpectedly, in the ICU of the local hospital there. The memories good and bad (the fantastic times we had in those few months and the opposite, the time I spent there waiting for the repatriation process to be completed ) mean I cannot imagine spending time there again without my husband. So eventually I will put the place up for sale. It is so sad that we all find ourselves in this situation where our dreams are over and the memories hurt so much. I hope one day you will be able to smile when you remember the good times on your holidays. Sending you love x

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Thank you @Star53
I hope the good times will begin to override the bad memories for you.
I don’t have any bad ones linked to the places, just the loss of any more good ones which would break my heart.

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Thank you. It’s such a sad situation we are all in. The loss of future plans is hard to bear when you look back on the good times, but I’m sure in time we will look back at them and enjoy our memories. I hope so anyway x

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Oh @KarenF I really can believe it

I totally understand and feel the same myself about the loss of future travel plans and adventures.

I can’t ever imagine walking up the steps of a plane, up the gangplank of a cruise ship or checking into a hotel/b&b without my wonderful husband. I certainly don’t want to do it with anyone else.

I already know I’ll not go abroad again without him and I’m fine with that.
Friends and family ask would I not go with them and the answer is no. It just wouldn’t be the same at all and I wouldn’t travel solo. I know what I like.

We had a simple home life but travelled a lot, it was our passion (we often joked that travelling was our social life) but It’s not just about the destination it’s the excitement of it all, the shared experience of being with the one you love most, love being with, seeing the enjoyment in their eyes and more.

It’s making you cry because you wanted more of those lovely experiences but know and accept you won’t, just like I have.

Hopefully like me you’ll draw comfort from all those wonderful experiences and memories. I usually think of a holiday memory and play it out in my mind when I go to bed, it’s this that has helped me sleep when I thought I never would x

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Thank you @JlovesR

I know what you mean about not wanting to go away without your husband. I feel the same but I have to sometime to get my daughter used to it again. She needs to learn so much still and we have already lost ground on building up her ability to cope with being away from home, due to Covid.

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I’ve just realised another aspect of this is that in my own little bubble at home, I’m doing ok being very busy with all that life throws at me responsibility wise. The idea of being away from home, with time to spare and that huge empty hole being so obvious is terrifying.

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I fully understand your sentiment and as you say ‘grief has no logic’ for me I have made a point of visiting places we shared together and whilst sad at times, I have drawn some comfort from the happy memories this has brought. Grief works so differently for each of us and sometimes I am surprised by what has upset me, but I let it in to let it out.

The hardest part of travel is the loneliness, I sometimes go with friends and family and the company is nice but not the same. The one thing I have learned on this journey is unless you have been or are going through it you will never fully understand how grief affects people and how it is the same but different for everyone. Stay Strong

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Thanks @fnb sorry for what you are going through too.
Yes it’s odd. I am one of us who can’t imagine leaving this home we shared whereas I know others who can’t cope with being in theirs. No logic to our differences but the great thing here is that we respect those differences.

Hi All
It’s just hard in every way
We had a motorhome …… caravaning since 2001 motorhome in 2017 just bought a new motorhome October2021 she was the bees knees
We adored them all and as you say It was the whole experience of going away …… sadly when Paul passed away 24th July 2022 I sold her
Like you all I couldn’t contemplate going away by myself our time away was just that ‘ours’
I booked everything in advance and actually this weekend we would’ve been at Keswick Friday night till Monday
Tears flow as it’s a crisp frosty morning
Xx

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