Yesterday was T’s funeral. I was dreading it more than anything I have ever done. The cars came to the house. T home for the first time since going into hospital in August last year. It was beautiful and dignified. I cried, sure, but it was ok, manageable, right. We went the short distance to the Crematorium. Lots of friends there, people from all different aspect of his life. It all worked well. I had rehearsed my eulogy over and over, to try and make sure I could do it without breaking down. And I did it. For him, for him and me, one last time, our last double act. And it was great. Lots of very positive comments afterwards, celebrant and undertaker said it was the best eulogy for a partner they had ever heard. Maybe they say that to everyone, but for me, to hear that from them and others means I’ll take that. Friends, I cannot tell you how much I was dreading it, how unprepared I felt. So please, if you are in this position, lean a little on this story, maybe. These big obstacles we face as widows and widowers can sometimes be less scary when we finally come to them face to face. Today, the first day of the rest of my life. I am sitting here, wearing one of his polo shirts and for the first time in a long time, feel a little easier. We get through together. Loads of love, V
Vancouver, so glad to read your positive post and I really do wish you many happy days ahead. Yes, we get through these days and we should be pleased and proud of ourselves and try to remember them when the grief cloud drops onto use.
Take care and enjoy your day. S xx
Thank you, S - very wise advice. I know I am at the start line here, and there is much still to tackle. That there is such a great community here really helps. Take care, stay well.
My husband’s funeral yesterday…
I don’t think I will ever be happy again…
Just want my phone to ring and his name to show up…
Loved him so much x x Sending strength and love to you all suffering …Sue
Sue, I am so very sorry that your husband died- I am in the same place as you, missing my lost beloved T last month. I miss him very much, too. Life is so very different and each day, new things to navigate. It is good to know I am not entirely alone and this community is helping me, for sure. Sue, I think we all will be happy again in time - but getting there will take time. Hold tight, I know I am. Sending love to everyone standing in our shoes.
Thankyou for your lovely, kind supportive, words …spoke to.a friend yesterday who had lost his partner 2 years ago …he was utterly devastated…like us . He said the pain eases although he still cries …but not as much …he told me that keeping busy is the key to sanity …he promised me it would ease in time …I hope its true…love to you all x x x z
It is so scary collapsed as I got in car can’t remember it was hight of Covid but 15month on a know can’t get him back I cry everyday but not all day lv annie x
You are doing well, Annie - this is a marathon and you are getting through it. Your love for him will endure always. You went through his death and funeral at the worst possible time, those days in the restrictions of Covid. You survived that and you are getting through each day. I know lots of people on here will be cheering you on, Annie as we all go through this together.
I read your experience of your husband’s funeral and it gave me the strength to get through my husband’s funeral yesterday.
I didn’t have the courage to read the eulogy myself but I did write it and Kathryn (the celebrant) did a great job reading it.
Like you everyone said lovely things .
I hope you are coping, I am feeling overwhelmed by it all but hopefully I will be able to get on one day at a time. I know there will be bad days and that is part of the grieving process but it’s hard.
Take care.Web
Web, we both got through - and we have every reason to be glad and relieved that our send offs were the best for the men we love so much. The love does not end. Well done you for yesterday I am blundering through each day - ok one minute, blindsided by grief the next. One day at a time, is all we can do. I signed up for some counselling and had my first session yesterday. It helped me to start reflecting on what happened to us last year in his final illness, through and after his death. It will take time to process and recover - but for him, who was always so positive and brave - I will get there. Take care, Web - I hope your day today is a good one x
…Sue
I am blundering through each day - ok one minute, blindsided by grief the next. One day at a time, is all we can do. I signed up for some counselling and had my first session yesterday. It helped me to start reflecting on what happened to us last year in his final illness, through and after his death. It will take time to process and recover - but for him, who was always so positive and brave - I will get there. Take care, Web - I hope your day today is a good one x