One more small step

Well today I had a new carpet fitted. My first worry was that it wouldn’t fit. Phil was an engineer so always did the measuring. It’s not that I’m not capable, it’s just that he always did it. “Measure twice, cut once” he would say.
Then I had to pull some staples out of the floor. Armed with a large screwdriver and pliers I crawled round the room poking the screwdriver in and pulling the staples out. All the time I could hear Phil saying “what ARE you doing woman?” At which point I would normally have asked him how to do it properly and he’d have show me. We did a lot of DIY together and he would always show me how to use all the tools and let me try. I was never very good!
Then I felt him flinch as I slipped and cut my finger. Then came the tears as I felt so stupid and angry. I so wished he was there to take over. It took me an hour to do what would have taken him 10 minutes.

But I did it. I didn’t give up and I feel like I’ve achieved something. I’ve got sore knees and a cut finger and maybe I’m not ready to take on the drill yet but at least I know how to use it when I need to and with Phil’s help my confidence has grown a bit and maybe it’s one small step to accepting that I might, just might, be ok as long as he’s always there to help me.

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That’s the only way I know how to pull staples out. Sounds good to me.
Presumably the carpet did fit.
The great thing about doing it yourself is whichever way you do it, it’s the right way if it works. I never completed a job in my life… I usually got to 85% and then lost interest, so never got finished.
It’s always good to hear a positive success story.

Thank you. Yes the carpet did fit. There was quite a bit left over so perhaps I can have a go at mat making!

It’s actually a relief to have a more positive day for a change. God knows there’s not been too many of them lately and I’m sure there’s another wave of grief round the corner to slap me in the face when I’m not expecting it but for today I’m ok. X

Hi mamma j, yes my lovely soulmate was an engineer as well and just like you I bought a new carpet, very worrying but I got the measurements right. Well I think I did but I am also sure he helped me. My maths were never good and so I don’t try to do things like that, now I just get on with it but I always ask for help. Funny but it seems to work. Well done and next time it will be easier. These things we have to learn and cope with, not easy.
Keep smiling.

You was lucky being shown how to use HIS tools. My husband was so possessive about his tools that I now feel useless, yet when I met him I was quite handy but that was over thirty years ago and things change. He only had to see me pick up a hammer and tape measure and he immediately wanted to know what I was going to do and huffing and puffing would then do it himself. Oh yes I soon learned how to get him to do something!!! Today I went into a local hardware shop and a kind man explained what some of Brian’s tools were in fact for. There’s so many of them in the shed. He also offered to show me if I brought the necessary tools in some time. So all is not lost, I will learn what to do with the tools. I wonder if he’s watching me as I build boxes on the allotment some a bit crooked. He would probably start again and I know he will be saying. “Well what do you expect your only a woman”.

You made me laugh there Pattidot because I remembered my wife harping on about decorating the hall and I showed my usual lack of enthusiasm. She started pulling bits of paper off. I ignored her. She pulled more off. I studiously ignored her. It stayed like that for months. She always threatened to do jobs herself so I just said fine. Get on with it, there’s a tool might help you in that cupboard. I’d then look to make it impossible for her to back out by telling her that she was the equal of any man, better in fact. She fell for it over and over again.
I think she could have done with your Brian there.

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Typical Yorkshire, wounderful. My love was half Yorkshire and Scottish so it always was ‘we can do that’ and if you have to pay then you haggard before saying ‘yesk. I learned well. There’s not much I have to pay for.
Blessings to all Yorkshire men

Hi Susie. It definitely felt like Phil was helping me or laughing at me. I’m not sure which but it got me through the day!

Showing me and me using his tools were definitely two very different things. He showed me how to use a hand saw once. I got it stuck in the wood on the first try. Needless to say he didn’t let me loose with that again! Having said that I’d like to have seen him use the sewing machine! Although annoyingly he’d probably have worked it out!

It’s all those funny bittersweet memories that keep to keep me going.

Being Yorkshire isn’t just about where you are born, it’s a way of life, a duty, a responsibility, a way of being and an absolute view of reality. I hope wounderful wasn’t a Freudian slip.

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No, because I live just over hill. Not Yorkshire born and breed, just breed and it’s is Gods own country.

I bow to your great knowledge and wisdom. It brought a smile.

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