For the last month I’ve been subconsciously thinking about this day…and how I needed it to go as I’ve in the last year destroyed myself and pushed everyone that cared away.
Well I can say now it hasn’t gone the way I needed it to, instead I stayed up until the early hours not particularly thinking about anything just couldn’t sleep, and spent most of the day in bed crying with my partner telling me she’s tired of it all, not sure on what to do or how to be around me.
All I really want is my parents back, it’s been 12yrs since my mum passed and a year for my dad.
Had my own little conversation with him today, made his favourite dinner and tried to look on the bright side that he isn’t in any pain, and they are both together.
Yet I still feel that emptiness, lonely but I choose not to be around people … argh it’s all frustrating
Is anyone else going through this?
Any advice, on how to get passed this as my dad passing seems to have brought up a decade of suppressed thoughts/feelings?