One year today

For the last month I’ve been subconsciously thinking about this day…and how I needed it to go as I’ve in the last year destroyed myself and pushed everyone that cared away.

Well I can say now it hasn’t gone the way I needed it to, instead I stayed up until the early hours not particularly thinking about anything just couldn’t sleep, and spent most of the day in bed crying with my partner telling me she’s tired of it all, not sure on what to do or how to be around me.
All I really want is my parents back, it’s been 12yrs since my mum passed and a year for my dad.

Had my own little conversation with him today, made his favourite dinner and tried to look on the bright side that he isn’t in any pain, and they are both together.
Yet I still feel that emptiness, lonely but I choose not to be around people … argh it’s all frustrating
Is anyone else going through this?
Any advice, on how to get passed this as my dad passing seems to have brought up a decade of suppressed thoughts/feelings?

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Dear @Sparky

Apologies for the delay in replying. How are you doing today?

Have you considered talking to your GP as to how you are struggling, for support and may be Counselling? It may help you and there might be local support groups in your area.

Sue Ryder offer a Counselling service and you will find helpful supportive information on coping with grief and bereavement here .

Under the heading Losing a Parent you can connect with members here who have experienced what you are going through, which is normal and part of the grieving process.

You are not alone, we are here to support you and please continue to reach out. If you need further information please email

Take care.