Over a year and a birthday looming

Lost my wonderful grandma on the 14th feb 2022
She was my world. Anything she wanted she got. I cared for her for over a week. She was then readmitted to hospital. Things went downhill the second time.
I miss her daily and the anniversary of her passing and now ber birthday this saturday has left me feeling low and ever so emotional.
I hold things together until i get home then i ball my eyes out. I knew she would eventually go but i never would have guessed. I was not ready.
She was my mum figure when no one else would. She was my strength and my world shattered when she had gone.
I was with her until an hour before we left. I saw her at rest and cannot get her face out of my brain. I wrote her a letter that she took with her.
I got half way thru her service and i crumbled. My auntie, uncle and dad was all there helping thru. I never ever thougjt loosing someone could hurt as much as it does.


Hi @Dolphin444 ,

Thank you so much for sharing this with the community :blue_heart: I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I just wanted to let you know that you have been heard and you are not alone.

Take good care,

Thank you so much. Xx

Hi Dolphin444, my mum passed away 16 Feb 2022. I didn’t know the first anniversary would hit me as hard as it has. I hope you get through this week and Saturday ok, all the ‘first’ holidays and anniversaries without our loved ones are so hard aren’t they? I have read they can get easier in time. Take care, Mike

We did the birthdays last year but this is the 1 year on and i have been hit with a load pf emotions this time.

For me, looking back now, I think for the first 9 months or so after my mum died I did so much on autopilot, just getting to the end of each day was enough. I don’t know how I got through her funeral, or closing bank accounts, making insurance claims etc. I think that is why some people say the second year of grief can be tougher, you’re more aware of what’s going on in terms of another milestone without that person etc? I think for now I’m going to try and go back to dealing with life a day a time as much as I can, to see if I cope better than I’m currently doing.

Sounds like a good plan. Grief is different for us all.
I had a huge amount of support and still do the things we did together. I was super lucky that i have some jewellery made from her ashes so i have a piece of her with me. I also got a ttatto in her memory xx

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