Over at last

Well, Christmas Day is almost over, and thank heaven. I went to one of my sons and had a super lunch, which he cooked. It was noisy and very tiring but better than being on my own, as some folk I know will have been. Have just arrived home to the peace and quiet of an empty flat and the usual loneliness is creeping up on me. The day passed better than I thought it would. I haven’t shed any tears but a feeling of deep sadness stayed with me all day. It is 68 years today that my late husband and I were engaged and the memory is as clear as if it were yesterday. I miss him so much. I hope that we will all find peace in the new year. Best wishes. Eileen.

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Hi Eileen

Like you I am so glad the day is over. I have been in tears for most of the day. I went with my sons to Church. Something we have always done as a family. It was all too much and I sobbed through most of the service. Couldn’t control my emotions or the memories which flooded my mind.

I have four brother and two sisters. I thought we were close but not one if them has contacted me today. Neither has any of the 70 people who attended Geoff’s funeral only 8 weeks ago.

Like you’ve said in previous posts everyone goes back to their lives and we have to find a way to carry on but some days the emotional pain and loneliness are just so bad.

I can imagine how painful today must have been for you remembering your engagement. My niece is getting married this week but I can’t go I know it would be too emotional for me.

Hope you sleep well - it’s the only thing we look forward to. Taking a pill and getting a few hours respite from the lives we are now living. Thinking of you and hoping tomorrow is a better day.

Yvonne X

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Dear Eileen

This is my first Christmas without my mum. I just let it pass like any other day. I was just about to go to bed when I thought I would check in with the Community to see how people had coped. Your account touched me so I thought I would just send a quick note to say that I will go to bed thinking of you and hoping that tomorrow might be less unbearable for you.

Marigold

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Hello, Yvonne, and thankyou for responding to my posting. I’m sorry you had such a bad Christmas Day and I can relate to your comment about people going their own way and expecting us to do the same. It doesn’t take much to pick up the phone and just ask how we are. I wasn’t able to cry for some reason but I felt so saddened by what happened back in June that my heart felt like a lead brick all day. I wish I knew of some way to recover from this terrible sadness and loneliness, and am hoping that as the evenings get lighter and the weather warmer, we will all begin to feel better. Best wishes. Eileen x

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Thank you for your kind thoughts, Marigold. I’m sorry for the loss of your Mum. Mine died many years ago but I still think about her often. I am going to another son today, where it will be noisy, with children. Although I find it difficult these days to cope with all the racket, it is better than spending the day alone, wishing my husband was still with me. This is my first Christmas without him and I seem to be in a state of disbelief that he is not here to share with me. I hope your new year is peaceful, and that all of us who are trying to get through this awful place, will begin to feel a little better. Best wishes. Eileen x

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