Overwhelmed by the thought of the next six months

My lovely husband George died on the 29th November last year 6 weeks after being diagnosed with cancer. The cause of his death was a blood clot in his lung which happened suddenly and I could not get to the hospital in time to be with him, a fact which I find very hard to cope with. The first ‘event’ after I lost George was Christmas which was a blur, followed by Valentine’s day and Easter. It is now nearly 6 months since he died and I am feeling totally overwhelmed by the 6 months ahead. I still cannot believe he has gone. How can someone so full of life be here one minute and then gone the next? Over the next 6 months it is full of family birthdays. All of the children’s birthdays are during the next six months as well as my own and George’s, our wedding anniversary and of course the 1st anniversary of losing him. On top of that one of his daughter’s is getting married and another one is due to have a baby. I just wish I could either go to be with him or disappear for the next 6 months until it is all over. I am actually so scared at how I am going to cope I really don’t know what to do with myself. I miss him so much and still pray all the time for him to come home which I know is so stupid because it is not going to happen. I know it is not going to change anything because these days are going to happen whether I want them to or not, but I just needed to tell someone how I am feeling who will understand. Thank you for listening xx

hi Debra
i hope you get the strength to continue with your life.and pray you handle the special days coming up and get through them.i wasnt married but it will our 28 anniversary on the 24th may,i aint got much money but had to put a post in our local paper and i will be doing the same for Jaynes birthday and other special days, as i will always do as long as i live.i like you pray jayne would appear in my life.good luck in finding the best ways to get through each and every day regards ian

Hi Debra
I am struggling as well and can relate to what you say. My partner of 27 years passed away suddenly two weeks ago and I am a mess. I was so dependent on him, more than I ever realised, and miss the idle chat, deciding what we would have to eat etc. He was so supportive. We did a lot of things together, planning holidays etc. Even though the family are supportive, the nights are the worst - I can’t even sit and watch any television. Thoughts just keep going through my head wondering if I could have done anything different.

I really do wish you well and hope that somehow, with the support of your family, you try and get through the next six months.
xx

Dear Pat
I am so sorry for your loss. I too lost my husband suddenly just over 2 weeks ago - and time does not seem to have a meaning. I miss everything about him - as you say idle chat, what he was going to cook, silly things but things that make up the tapestry of our day to day living. I too cannot bear to think of the future without him. The only television I can watch is stuff I know he would have never watched - anything I think he would have enjoyed I feel guilty about and cannot do it. There are a lot of places I do not think I will be able to go to again. Though everywhere I go I have reminders - even if we never went there often. It is so painful and I think I was unaware of the pain people were in before this happened to me - but everyone on here is going through the same .
I have found it really helps to talk on here - as we are suffering.
Take care and keep talking and reading on here. It is the first thing I do in the morning and the last thing at night.
Trisha x

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Hi debra27, my husband died on November 11th last year, from lung cancer, he was 51, i to am feeling the same. The last six months have passed in a blur, our first grand daughter was born in January and I feel that only now can I feel anything, think I have just been going through the motions. I too have to now face the next six months, our 30th wedding anniversary is next week, as well as our birthdays. I have my granddaughters christening and my nieces wedding in August and I’m dreading going alone. I find the last few weeks have been the most difficult, trying to accept that he’s gone, I hate coming home to an empty house. Night time is bad, can’t sleep, but have to work, find I’m so tired in the morning. Even though I have lots of family and friends I still feel so alone and can’t talk to them, one of the reasons I joined this forum, I know what I’m feeling is kind of normal when I read what others are going through. I just never expected any of this but you are not alone, we can only take one day at a time. Hope your ok.x

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