Overwhelmed

I’ve been unable to get out of bed today. Just couldn’t motivate myself to do anything. 12 weeks since my husband died and feeling more lost than ever.Feel as though I had been doing well - getting out meeting friends and even had a holiday.!I was maybe trying too hard to be ‘normal’.Such a bad day but I then found this forum and read some of the posts. It’s helped in that I know other people feel the way I do at present but it’s scares me to know how long it can last. Not sure how to cope with it. Just miss him so much .

hi
So sorry for your loss.You must be heart broken like me.I lost my husband two years ago and i miss him everyday.Some days like today i just cry and cry yet other days i am okay ,I think it all part of the grieving process we all go through.I just wish i had the words to say to you to make you feel better.But there are no words that anyone can say to you except just take one day at a time.And eventually like me you will learn to adjust to the change in your life even though it is not easy and it is not what you wanted.I am sorry if you think i am rambling on but i am not very good with words
take care brendaj

Hello Lillian, I am so terribly sorry for what you are going through but please know you are not alone in this, we are all going through the same nightmare, some of us more recent than others, it is three years for me now and I can honestly say, I still have a cry every single day since my husband died. Life is no life without him, a future without him in it makes me want to scream with the pain of it all. I do know nothing will ever be the same anymore. My husbands funeral was three years ago as yesterday and I got up in the morning, said hello love to his ashes and broke down crying. Before Peter started being really ill we got a gorgeous German Shepherd puppy to keep Peter company if I had to go out and as time went on Barney would never leave his side, I took him for walks, fed him, brushed him, loved him but it was always his ‘dad’ he wanted. Barney died in July this year, he was eight years old and it was very sudden, my world fell apart because it felt as though I had lost Peter all over again. After Peter died, Barney was the one that kept me going, I had to get up in the morning to take him out, feed him etc. he was the one that looked at me when I was crying and laid his big head on my knee, for three years Barney was my rock, always there with me, never leaving my side, where I went Barney followed. Now there is nothing, yes I have our sons and grandchildren but they have their own lives to live and don’t have to come home to an empty house after they have been out. So Lillian, I honestly cannot tell you when this heartache will end because after three years it is still ongoing. I get up, make breakfast, the house is spotless because there is only me. If the weather is nice I do some gardening or nip into town but that is not the life I want I want Peter back, I want my old life back, I hate this new life I have been given, I never asked for it and I don’t want it. It will be the same for all the other grieving people on this site who have lost their mum’s, dad’s, sister’s brothers, sons, daughters etc. not one of us wanted this life but we are stuck with it so have to make the best of what we have got because we don’t have any other choice. Just know that we all care about each other and try to help each other by being supportive, because we all know we are going through a similar thing, we have lost a much loved one and our hearts have been broken. Take Care. Sheila xxxx