I’m 16 months into this awful journey and today is our daughter’s birthday. My husband was always excited to celebrate. Every year the same story about her birth was told and we’d all laugh about how when my father in law asked him what we’d had, my husband said a baby. This year I have spent the whole day in tears as the story won’t be told and my husband isn’t here to help us celebrate. My daughter has spent the day out with her fiance to celebrate, so I have spent the day with my own memories.
People say time is a healer but I find time is making things harder.
I feel overwhelming grief all day, every day and can’t see an end to it. I have tried everything, going out, staying in but nothing helps I just want him back. I know that this is impossible but it doesn’t stop me from wanting it.
Don’t think that I can take much more.
Hello @Shazz9, I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband. I’m sure lots of our members will identify with what you’ve written - special days can be so difficult.
You say you’re not able to take much more and it sounds like you are feeling overwhelmed. I wonder if you have thought about getting some extra support? 16 months isn’t long but if you are feeling like it’s hard to go on, it might be good to speak to someone. Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: sueryder.org/counselling.
You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.
Please do keep reaching out to us, you are not alone.
Take care
Seaneen
@Shazz9 I am so sorry for your loss, this is not something we ever anticipated. I lost my husband 8 weeks ago and my daughters are so wrapped up in themselves they have forgotten about me here on my own. I have read so many messages on here and have noticed one common thread… only those in our position really know what we are going through.
Please don’t feel alone for we are all here to support each other and encourage ways to find ways of coping
Jen x