Panic and anxiety 9 months after mums death

Hello all,

I’m new here.

My mum died 9 months ago suddenly at the age of 61. I got the phone call when I was half asleep in bed. After she died I took two months off work, it took a month to plan and have the funeral.

When the two months were up, I went back to work and had Counselling. I suffer with anxiety but it has been manageable for years.

I was actually surprised with myself how I was able to cope most of the time. I made plans, did things, went to work. Of course had the occasional cry and bad day but overall was coping well.

In November I decided to end my Counselling as I felt like I was ok.

Over Christmas my anxiety started becoming out of control, impossible to sleep, panic attacks, thinking I was having a heart attack. The worst of it lasted a week or two and then I was ok.

I returned to Counselling last week.

Now out of nowhere my anxiety is really bad again and I am not sleeping and not able to really work properly. I am angry with myself as I feel like 9 months on I should be ok or better and can’t understand why I seem to be going backwards. I’m also worried that things will spiral out of control and I won’t be able to get a hold of things and return to work. (A similar situation happened 4 years ago where I had a breakdown of sorts and couldn’t return to work minus the bereavement). Work have so far been understanding but I feel like I am being judged and letting everyone down and wish I could cope better than I am.

Lola, having read your post I can only feel for you. Nine months is little time and as you say you coped really well. I don’t know who your counsellor is connected to but perhaps you should also have someone dealing just with the anxiety side of your problem. I do know you can refer yourself to NHS mental services and rather then worry about what may happen doing something is better because you said you dealt with things when you planned then yourself. You sound like a self assured person and as they say action speaks and you know how to cope, so please stop worrying, you are doing great. Be kind to yourself and try taking little steps a long this rocky road. Think just of you and look after yourself. We are always here for you and bless you for posting. S xx