As I write this I don’t even know what I’m saying but I’m hoping just by getting something out of my head it will help and hearing from others. My mum was my world and she’s gone, I get flashbacks of all the times we’ve spent together which then turn into a wave of panic that I’ll never get to do those things with her again. I can’t deal with this I’m not strong enough and I don’t want to deal with it (not that I have a choice) but I just don’t want to feel like this. We’ve had mums funeral on 15th and everything feels so final now. I just don’t know how to get through life when all my memories involve my mum. I wake up every morning wanting to message her and I get this stab that I wont get a response and never will be able to again hear from her. I want to scream but I can’t even do that and what good will it do.
I’m so sorry about your mum, @Katie268. I just wanted to share our support page on the physical symptoms of grief with you - perhaps it may comfort you a little bit to know that these feelings of panic are normal, and you are not alone.
Mind have some advice on coping with anxiety and panic, which might be helpful.
Keep reaching out and take care,
Seaneen
Hi Katie so sorry for your loss, I’m in the same situation I feel your pain, posting on here has been good for me, seeing so many people are in the same place. The positive that I’ve learned on here, which I have to hold on to is that grieving never stops but we eventually learn to live with it peacefully, and smile again when remembering our loved ones. You and I are nowhere near that stage, I can’t even look at a photo of my mam without sobbing uncontrollably but I just have to hope that in time the physical and emotional pain eases. One day at a time. Take care 
Hi @Katie268 I’m sorry 
I don’t have much advice because I feel the same. I get so scared and panicky thinking about life without my mum now. I also get flashbacks. It’s a lot to manage. The only thing I’d say is I find it helps to keep talking about it, and distract yourself with other things if you can in the moment. Such as can you watch TV, go for a walk, read a book, write something down, talk to someone. But also if you need to scream and cry then do it. I know as you said what good would it do, but sometimes we just have to let it out.
It’s so sad. It’s because we love them so much x
My condolences, Katie. I have flashbacks too and I don’t want it to be real either. If I could, if it made a difference, I would just refuse and stop the world entirely. The best thing is to avoid thinking about the future, though I know it’s hard to do. It’s so scary and the years feel so long and that’s not helpful right now. This is a good place to talk and read other’s stories and know they understand. Take care.
Hi Katie. I’m sending you my deepest condolences. I too am struggling with flashbacks and anxiety. It can be very overwhelming. I lost my mum 4 weeks ago and everything is like a bad dream. I know in time these feelings will fade but it hurts so much just now. Sending you a gentle hug x
I’m sorry to hear about your loss. Thoughts are with you. I’ve had some horrible days where I just can’t stop crying and then some better days when i try and keep myself busy, on those days I feel guilty. Life is so cruel and I can’t deal with the fact my mum is never going to be here again. I’m utterly heartbroken. 
I totally understand how you are feeling Katie. Please dont feel guilty for having better days - your mum wouldnt want that im sure. I took myself off for 3 days last week and stayed with a friend. I had 2 really good days. Then i came home and reality hit all over again. I too had a good cry yesterday and im struggling to accept mum is gone forever. We will get through this x