Panic mode

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Feel like I’m in panic mode. Want to spend as much time with my mum as possible now my dad’s gone. To make it worse my mums changed since dad died. She’s forgetting stuff and repeating herself. Making stupid decisions and it hurts me seeing this. I don’t want to hurt her feelings. But can honestly say she’s loosing it in many ways. All I can do is support her. Im at the stage now worrying about how much time ive got with my amazing mum. So depressing seeing all this and could pull me back down and start to feel depressed again with aniexty.

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Hi @Ward1979, I not surprised your mum has changed. She has lost her soulmate, the love of her life. It doesn’t matter how much time has past, speaking from being in the same position you do change. You’ve been a couple for years do everything together and suddenly it just you on your own. It’s like losing a limb part of you has gone and you can’t believe you won’t see them again.
Your mum is still grieving and probably depressed. It does strange things to you. I can honestly say I forget things all the time and always repeating myself. Can’t concentrate for any length of time and lost all motivation. I’ve probably made bad decisions too, brain fog effects us all.
If you are really worried try to get her to see her GP, my children worry about me it’s only natural.
Please don’t panic and make yourself ill, for your mum losing her husband has broken her heart.
Debbie X

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I think this is really common. I have lost my mum and my next close and only family is my step Granddad who is wonderful but 80 and my mind catastrophises.

I think we need to live in the moment, treasure these moments and not think ahead. It’s incredibly tough and I am right in the thick of it at the moment so sending you much love and strength

Keep letting it out here, I find it helps just knowing you are not alone in this thinking and feelings

Best, Beki

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Thanks beki look after yourself here if you a chat x

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Thinking of you @Ward1979 :heart: xxx

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Thanks.

Things like breathing no exercises etc do help and I can do them when I am in semi-panic mode but when I am in full hide in the bed mode it’s hard to even do those things

I have found a grief app that helps a bit, keeps me journaling, doing some meditations. Got Megan Devine journal today “How to carry what can’t be fixed” and opened it on a page about calming anxiety in the moment like saying out loud all the things you can see that are orange, or naming a word for every letter of the alphabet etc

Have you had any contact with your doctor/mental health team. I met the mental health team a couple of days after mum died when I was getting checked up on a&e. They gave me a number I can ring any time, 24/7 and there’s someone to talk to even if I just want to cry at someone, talk about anything, even sit in silence together.

Or head here and just blurt it out. I am a night owl so often check in at this time.

Do you have a good support network?

We are all in a crap group none of us want to be part of.

Hoping you can have a peaceful night

Best, Beki

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