My boyfriend sadly passed away at the start of the month very unexpectedly. We have been unable to bury him yet due to his post mortem being inconclusive and an inquest being required. I have been struggling with accepting his death as although I am heartbroken and my life has literally been flipped upside - I still do not feel as though it is real and that he will be home any minute. I don’t know how to cope with the pain I am feeling and I feel as though my brain is blocking me from accepting the death.
I don’t know how I will continue without him, we have been together since teenagers and I always imagined we would be together forever.
I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your boyfriend, it must be extremely tough not having any answers yet. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.
Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
That sounds terrible. My wife passed in November, I still feel like she’ll be sitting in her chair when I walk up the stairs. I think our minds build a model of them, but when they, go nobody bothers to tell our brains. They just keep living on.
Not a bad thing my friends keep telling me, tbh i’m having a hard time believing them.
I haven’t posted on here much and I don’t know if what I’ve said helps, but I found this forum to be illuminating and I’ve only been on it today. Have a good look around it
I lost my Fiancé 22/11/22. We had the same issue, it was inconclusive. We have now been able to lay her to rest.
In my opinion you will never stop hoping that they will come walking through the door.
Some may find this disturbing (please see further down)
Just before her funeral I was able to visit her body and see her for a while. It gave me some time to talk with her privately. I then took a picture of her laying in her coffin which I keep safe so that when I am having doubts and confusion, I look at it to remind me that she is really gone.
I’m sorry if I am not saying the right words and this may be unhelpful.
I had a dream last night that she came back. The first thing I done was look at that picture and although it hurts every time, it helps.
So sorry you have lost your partner @Ellxox . it must be so difficult for those of you still waiting to know how your loved ones died. I hope you get some answers soon.
@Bennett58 I too took a photo of my husband in case my daughters ever wanted to see their Dad in his coffin. It does make it so real so I fully understand why you felt bit could help.
I lost my partner of 16 years Boxing Day he’s just had his 40 birthday we have 5 beautiful children 13/12,10 and twins who are 5 they are all over the place especially the twins they obvs don’t no how to show there emotions and are just erratic I’ve had a better day today been trying to get out cleaned my house but I just have this gut wrenching aching hurt feeling that I’m hoping will stop I’m trying to get the mind set there is nothing I can do to bring him back so I have just got to start thinking of having a positive year getting out and making new memories with my friends and family my friend keeps trying to reassure me this doesn’t mean that ur never going to be happy again I suppose it’s the way we deal with it and move forward the more we sit and dwell the longer it will take to heal it’s very early days for me but if I don’t start looking forward think I will break I’ve had a few alcoholic drinks every night since to numb it slightly but 2nite I’m trying not to the sooner I work thru this pain the sooner I will heal hopefully xx
Im so sorry for your lose.
I lost my partner just over a year ago now he was 37 and im 30. And i wish i coukd tell you it gets easier but it really doesnt well not that ive found out yet. I still feel so lonely he was my best friend the person i always turned to and now i feel like i have no one!
I really hope you find some peace
@Vikki1234
Sending love to you and prayers for you to one day feel peace with your loss.
I lost my darling husband of 29 years in April last year so 8 months for me. I will say that New Year was not as terrible as I had expected it to be. I had my two daughters and the older daughter’s fiancé with me and we just had a quiet evening. None of us wanted to ‘celebrate’ it but we acknowledged it.
I still have many times when I just want to curl up and sob but I know I have to make a new life, carrying my darling Richard in my heart always. People further down the line say we learn to live with the loss so I assume that is going to be a gradual process. I think our greatest gift is our children as we have a reason to go on. Wishing you strength in your terrible loss. Keep him in your heart and you will never totally lose him.
Thank you it is so hard I’m feeling ok today feeling stronger I have to keep going because of them they are all over the place especially my 2little girls daddy’s princesses it breaks my heart but that’s why I no I can’t crumble I have this hurting gut wrenching pain that won’t go away but I no if I don’t move forward then I will just lose it thank you for the reply it means a lot x
