Hey, I don’t feel right joining another chat room which looks like they’re quite full and people might be familiar with each other, I’m shy in person and it’s meant to be easier online but somehow for this it feels more pressured that people will compare etc, but I’ve lost my partner to suicide and if anyone is free, I’d love to chat to someone who understands x
Hello @Daltss,
I can see that you’re new to the community. I hope you find it to be a support to you, but I am so sorry for the loss of your partner that brings you here.
You say you are feeling shy and pressured to share online. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I wanted to share some sources of support that might help you right now.
- Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide offer support to people over 18 who have been affected by suicide. They have a supportline on 0300 111 5065 and run support groups nationally.
- Support after Suicide has a list of local and national support.
You might also want to explore our Online Bereavement Support, where you find our Grief Guide self-help platform, and where to find our Grief Kind Spaces.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Alex
Hi Daltss
I may not be the best person to talk to here, as, although I lost my wife last year, that was in a different situation to yours. I have lost a niece by suicide though and lost a daughter at the age of 18 hours many years ago. I’m sure you must be devastated at the loss of your partner especially under the most difficult circumstances.
When I first joined here, I also looked at a lot of chats, until I found one that I thought seemed to fit with me. However I can understand why you wanted to start your own chat. I would say that the main one I use has welcomed many new people over the year it has been running, and we all get on really well with everybody else.
Don’t feel pressurised, just say as much or as little as you want to say. I’ve only found friendly helpful and understanding folk here, so try not to feel that others will compare you to anyone else. We all have different situations, even when the loss seems to be very similar, but I’ve also found that many others have exactly the same thoughts as me. That is a comfort, as it means you don’t feel you’re the only one going through this.
I found that I can chat here to my friends in a way I cannot even talk to my family. Some things are too close to home, and those on here, having such close understanding, can often empathise more than even family. No one can genuinely understand the grief of losing a partner unless they have experienced that. I’m sure that those who have lost partners to suicide will have so much more understanding to help you, but I couldn’t just leave your post unanswered.
Look after yourself and chat as and when you feel like it. The chat will likely increase in numbers over time. I’ve found that helpful, as it gives more friends to talk to with different ways of handling the same things.
Kind regards
Nigel
I have some experience of how you feel. My husband died just over two months ago. It was initially assumed to be suicide, his mental health history supported that, and he had made several unsuccessful attempts on his life in the past. Several were serious with ITU admission, intubation and warnings that he might not survive. In all those cases I had found him in time, performed CPR etc and he had survived. In this case it transpired he actually died of natural causes. However, there are a lot of complicating factors and issues with the mental health trust and other bodies that mean although we will now not have to have an inquest, his death is still under investigation.
It adds a whole different layer to grief and I would be happy to talk to you if you would like.
Gillie x