Partner took their own life

My fiancée (aged 38) took his own life in January. I’m struggling to cope with the loss & the range of emotions. I feel guilty that I couldn’t help him through the years of depression. Only now after his death I truly understand his struggles. I just wish I could tell him we can tell with this together.
I dont even know why I’m writing this post. I’m just trying to help with my grief.

Hi Sd im very sorry for your loss .I cant relate to what your going through but there are people on here that have lost loved ones to suicide .Id contact Priscilla(community manager )she can put you in contact with these people theyll help you Colin (57 ) my wife passed last year she was 41

Hi SD,

I’m so sorry to hear that your finance took his own life, it sounds as though you are really struggling with the guilt and unanswered questions.

I’m glad that you’ve found this site - many people do find that writing things down in a safe space is a good outlet for your feelings. As Colin has suggested, I have found some other users who have lost partners to suicide, who you may wish to talk to. You could have a look at this recent conversation between Lostalone, Jolyjoka and Devastated, and post a reply there if you would like: https://support.sueryder.org/community/coping-death-loved-one/why

Another good source of support is the charity SOBS (Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide), who offer lots of support, including a helpline, local support groups and support by email.

If there is anything else I can help with, or you have any questions about using this site, you can always drop me a private message, or email me on online.community@sueryder.org

Hi,

Yes I’ve been reading through other conversations to help me. It will be a month tomorrow (28th) so it’s just very raw and fresh and I feel I have a long road ahead of me to be somewhat normal again if I can be.

I’ll keep reading and possibly a local group to talk to when I feel ready. I’m only 30 and I feel like nothing will ever be the same again & suppose it won’t and I have to accept that somehow.

Thanks