Hello everyone my name is Sheila and im 74 . i lost my husband suddenly, April 18th, 2024 he was 74 only ill for a few years he suffered a brainstorm stroke and cardiac arrest after being in a diabetic coma . He was firstly diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease which turned into lewy bodys disease but i cared for him until he went into hospital , we were together for 52yrs happily married for 48yrs we loved each other and were inseparable we have 4 wonderful children getting on with there lives and 4 grandchildren who we adore. Im still feel like im in a bubble. But still functioning but cry all the time, I just miss him so very much but try every day to put one foot in front as he would want me to . I do try to put on a brave face for my children but its not always possible i just break down its not fair to them their grieving for they’re Dad . Im hoping by writing my feelings down may help me along with bearevement counciling that i have just started and trying to find the confident 19 yr old when i first met my husband when he was 20yrs old is so hard when still in disbelief
Hello @Theoldwitch,
I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your husband. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support. In the meantime, you may wish to look at these Sue Ryder resources which might be helpful.
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Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
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Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Alex
Good morning Sheila,
I too have only joined the group yesterday and totally understand what you are saying. Your husband was obviously well loved and cared for by you and your family.
My husband passed away suddenly 9 weeks ago aged 68 , and the grief I feel is crippling. I try so hard to protect our son knowing he has his own journey while supporting his young family. Our grandchildren, too have been robbed and need gentle care.
I went into a local church last week which was offering bereavement counselling and sat with the vicar . Only I turned up and although I cried I talked to a complete stranger who listened , wanted to see photos of my family and was interested in me. She made me feel welcome and gave me reassurance that what I am feeling is completely normal and expected.
I’m glad you are receiving bereavement counselling and I will continue too. I am having regular reiki treatment which I find are helping me relax. I’m open minded and will try alternative therapies. I’ve got nothing to lose.
Take care of yourself Sheila xx
Thank you for replying to my message. i am so sorry for your loss it is heart-wrenching, especially when you’ve built your whole life around them and suddenly gone . I was getting over the shock, but obviously, I’m still grieving. Never a day goes by where i don’t think of him . But since the loss of our dog has opened everything up, he was very loved by all of us and everyone he was a beautiful boy who loved cuddles with my husband
I, too, am thinking of exercise groups as in Reiki and palates may help with my arthritis which also has got worse. im told grief makes pain worse .
You take care too xx
You are so right, we worked so hard for a good retirement and I now feel broken. Not even old enough to drawer my state pension🤷♀️,
The death of your family pet is another hurdle for you to deal with, I’m sorry. My son has dropped off their new pup so they can go out for the day. She’s into everything , that’s my job today! My husband would be delighted with her❤️
I would definitely recommend Reiki for your arthritis and grief Sheila . No exercise involved , just transfer of positive energies and letting go of emotions. I’m thinking of going swimming and will have to walk more. My husband and I spent hours walking coastal paths. I’m constantly thinking how are my going to live without him. We have to go through this horrendous grief and not around it and this is the price for true love.
I agree xx we used to travel a lot and take the dogs for a walk . I do get myself up to feed the cat and our little dog , my family are very good i see 2 that live near me more but ring the other 2 . Im going to see my sister in Australia for Christmas , i went over April with a few of my husbands ashes had a memorial party for those that couldn’t get to his funeral sprinkledhis ashes in the sea on one of our favourite beaches, but this time im flying on my own a bit daunting but i wear his necklace his last Christmas gift to me before he died so hes with me in my heart xx
You sound like a very brave lady and I hope you will look forward to seeing your sister. Our husbands will never leave our sides and would want us to enjoy our lives, although not the way we would choose. I can’t believe I am even saying this xx
You too are doing amazing take care and stay positive we will never forget our husbands , thats for sure but live our lives as hard as it is , they will be looking down on us with pride id like to think .so nice talking to you i felt very down last night but feeling better today and the suns out xx
Thank you for our chats stay safe xx
Good to chat with you x
Hi ladies. I’m so sorry for your losses.
I lost my partner very suddenly back in March and even though we were together for such a very short time he was the love of my life and I his.
It’s a road I never thought I would walk but then again we don’t think of death when we are loving someone. I think we all think we are invincible and here forever and then suddenly we are in this tornado of emotion sucking us down and then we come back up again…
A strange, unwelcome and unwanted time but one we have to try and get through and there’s good days but we all know the bad ones are going to hit us again…
Let’s hope we do manage to live our lives as best we can with wonderful memories that one day we won’t cry at…
Hello i am so sorry for your loss. You’re so right , we just have to think of the good times , which after 18months i still cry when i talk about him , i had to go through photo and videos for my bereavement counciling for tomorrow and i just sobbed .to be honest talking on here about things has helped me and does make you feel that your not alone , and rather than keep talking to my family doesnt help them in their grief, but actually writing your feelings down talking to complete strangers who are also grieving does helps.
Take care
I lost my husband 3 months ago… Every day is like a fog. We have to daughters…so I kinda just live for them. It is so hard, he was 45 years old when he passed. So wish that he is still with us somewhere. Miss him every second…
When will the ‘fog’ lift?
I’ve just been food shopping for myself and it’s so difficult when I’m used to cooking from scratch for a man who enjoyed his food. I came away with not one decent meal and left my purse at the checkout. Everything seems an uphill struggle at the moment but we have to get through this chapter and make the most of the rest of our stories.
I can relate to that. It’s 29 weeks since I lost my husband and I still struggle going into supermarkets. I see all his favourite foods and the tears start to flow again. I usually end up just buying, milk, bread, yoghurt and a ready meal which i never used to buy as like you we aways cooked from scratch.
It definitely gets harder as time goes on:sleepy:
Don’t know what happened there, wrong emoji popped up??
I’m so sorry for your loss. I feel your pain. My beautiful husband died April 16, 2025 to cancer. Danny was the love of my life, my teammate, best friend he was 72, I was 67. We did everything together and were so happy with our retirement plans. We were together 46 years, married 44. Im still in disbelief, how can this be I say to myself and cry all the time.
I miss him beyond words, it’s so hard. One day at a time I guess. Take care
Thank you❤️
I’m so sorry for your loss as well.
My husband died on the 15th March to cancer, his birthday was Saturday just gone he would have been 63, I’ve recently had a birthday as well, I’m 62. We were together for 40 years and married for just short of 34 years.
We had so many plans for our retirement but life had other ideas, im devastated .
Like you and your husband we did everything together, we didn’t need anyone else. My life is so different now ive got to get used to doing everything by myself which is so hard after having my beloved husband by my side for so long.
But as you said we’ll just have to take one day at a time. We’ll never get over our grief we just have to learn to live with it.
Take care
Hi i also lost my partner on the 18th of April this year i had him for 15 months after he was diagnosed with cancer. I understand everything your saying about putting on a brave face and crying all the time . I try to be strong but there are times when something just happens a feeling washes over me and i feel like im crumbling all over again. Grief is so hard to navigate and understand and i wish you all the best you were married for so long it must be so hard. Sending you hugs for your journey xx
Hi Lynn i very sorry for your loss , yes it is the hardest thing and this week after my 2nd bereavement session on monday , ive not stopped crying, greif is awful just as i thought i was doing ok a second wave out of nowhere hit me after 18 months . My councillor suggests doing a bereavement box may help 
sending hugs too xx
Sheila
I am only 38 years old. My husband was 45 years when he passed on 3rd July 2025. We have two daughters - one is only 8, other is 20. In just sometimes dont know how to cope with all this. I miss him every second. We all do…