In 2018 I lost my husband of 34 years very suddenly. He was 60 and diagnosed with kidney cancer.He went in for an operation and 6 days later passed away as a result of complications. The shock was really awful. I am lucky as I have very supportive family mine, and my husband’s and a wonderful daughter. I don’t always feel lonely as such but I do feel alone and as if my life is in two halves. People are always keen to find me things to do places to go. Sometimes I just want to be at home on my own, but I know this isn’t always a good idea. I can hear my husband and imagine what he would say at different times. Although I try to look forward somehow I don’t want time to move on. I hate to think that it is now two years since I last spoke to him.
Hello, Dot.
Welcome to this forum, a place where nobody wants to be.
I am sorry that you lost your husband and that it was such a shock to you, I do understand, we had been married for 59 years, my husband died 6 months ago, I found him on our bedroom floor, he had died. The shock is horrendous and I do believe that I am just coming out of it. Your husband was so young 60 is no age, these days, I should say he is so young, I do believe that our loved ones never leave us, but stay watching over us,
As for being at home on your own, just go with the flow and do what you think is best for you.
Blessings
MaryL
Lost My DARLING BEAUTIFUL WIFE PENNY 
to METS BREAST CANCER on the 06 November 2019. Just 21 days after diagnosis which Penny didn’t know she had as doctor was treating for Sciatica. Myself I was diagnosed with Prostate cancer this time last year. Just miss Penny so much. Just seem so lonely on my own never hear from family. Penny said this would happen if she went first she was right . Don’t feel Penny is near by . Just feel life is empty. Don’t want to be here myself . Penny was Just 67 Years old in August. Met her when she was 16. Married Penny when he 18. We were married for 48 wonderful years. Here I am now 70 my wife Peñny no longer with me thought had at least another 10 years together. Just want to be with her and not here anymore. Life offers me nothing anymore this once wonderful life is now just nothing days are long cold with no warmth in the house. Would have been out and about . We had no retirement together as only retired just over a year ago. Then was I
Diagnosed with prostate cancer. Then at the end of 2019 Penny is told she has Met Breast Cancer and passes away. Just struggling to enjoy life everyday.
Thank you for your kind words. It is good to find people who really understand.
Hello you have been through such a lot. With your illness as well as losing your wife. I really don’the know what to say except try to take baby steps doing things you feel you can. And look after yourself
I do understand, our daughter has begged me to move to be nearer to them. I have told her that no way am I leaving this bungalow, it would be like leaving Stan behind. he loved living here as I do. Our son agrees with me, I have a network of good friends, a good doctor, a good local hospital , besides there could come a time when she and her husband could move. I am so settled here, I love to see our daughter, son, grandson and great-grandson, I have never lived anywhere but this town. I may be a fuddy duddy, but at 80 years of age, it is rather late to change now. I shudder at the thought of packing up and moving.
Finally, I just want to say, how I feel for all of you, who have lost their husbands/wives/partners, it is heartbreaking, I do understand. It is 6 months since my husband passed away, I miss him so much. I am confident that one day, when the time is right, we shall be re-united, what a happy day that will be, until we are re-united with our loved ones, we just have to plod on, taking each day as it comes.
Blessings,
Mary x