The Peril:
I came across an exchange of Whatsapps with Eileen when she was in hospital recovering from her heart operation. I had made some jokey observation about some of the surgical team - nothing hurtful, neither of us did that sort of thing.
Nevertheless, she took me gently to task, and rebuked me for being flippant about “people who have given me a few more years of life.”
Less than a week later, she was dead.
The Prize:
(Well, I don’t know for sure yet, but I am so hopeful.)
I have mentioned elsewhere in the forum that I have lost a particular favourite photograph of my beloved Eileen taken in 1972/3 when she was 28/29. She looked particularly beautiful, smart, desirable, gentle and kind. Oh, how proud I was, and smug, when I spotted her getting admiring glances. Despite a desperate search I have not been able to find the photo, and I am distraught.
Now there is a glimmer of hope. Whilst cleaning up those emails, I came across an exchange between me and the lady Lay Minister who conducted Eileen’s funeral. The LM mailed me after a meeting to discuss arrangements, and thanks me for a picture of Eileen that I gave to her. I don’t know which photo that was. That it was not an up-to-date photo is obvious, as in my reply I attached another image of Eileen which I described as “more recent, to aid recognition.”
The LM and I intended another meeting a few days later, and perhaps there was an intention to return the photo, but this second meeting didn’t take place.
So you know what I am hoping, don’t you ? That the photo I passed over on that first meeting is the one that I have been seeking, of course !
All this was going on within a few days of Eileen’s death, and I was in a daze, which is why my recollection is so poor.
I have emailed the Lay Minister again, so please wish me luck !
Fingers crossed you’ll be in for a nice surprise Edwin, how heart-warming would it feel if indeed it was the photo you’ve been searching for. It almost feels as if it is meant to be doesn’t it, hope so.
Thankyou Tina. Being unable to find that special photo has assumed massive proportions in my mind.
It will be an enormous setback if my hopes of it being with the Minister are dashed. I can hardly bear to think about it.
Before unearthing that old email, I have had a strong sense of Eileen about the house today. Has she been guiding me ? I could so easily have deleted that email, but I didn’t.
I have always kept any sense of hope about anything to myself. Not really sure why, perhaps a belief that articulating it might jinx it. Also, I have never wanted to raise hopes in other people that I care for, hopes that might just be dashed.
I am still like this, and I am not yet going to tell family about my hopes until I have some information, one way or the other. Goodness knows, really, why I have shared the circumstances on the forum. Perhaps it’s because I know that most of you will appreciate just how much importance we vulnerable grievers may place on superficially small things.
I am now desperately awaiting a reply from the Minister. It was late last night whenI emailed her, and she’ll be busy today, I imagine.
Hoping you get the reply you are hoping for Edwin. My sister & I had a photo taken from one of our last holidays away. The photo is online and I had trouble accessing it. My sister, being more high-tech than I, saw it, loved it, and told me how to get into the site to view it. I again had difficulty, so just thought I would try again, but now she is gone and I still cannot bring that photo up. Although I have dozens of other photos, I share that desperation to retrieve that particular one.
Everything is important when it is attached to our departed loved one. I think it is because we need to hold on to every last remnant of them. Good luck Edwin, let us know. (and everyone please wish me luck in finding a way to get my picture as well, thank you), Sister2, Xx
Thank you all. This forum seems to bring people together in similar circumstances.
You are the first people I told about my dilemma. So frustrating to have my special pic on my computer but unable to view it. How sad. Ty, Sister2
Thinking of you Edwin, and wondering if you’ve made any progress in getting that photo back yet? I am still working on my situation, very trying. Sister2
Edwin could it be in a book or similar. Did you look through any books when arranging Eileen’s funeral, for example. Looking for hymns or verses and the like.
Did you carry it with you in a pocket at all around the time of Eileen’s death. Have you looked through pockets etc.
Or, am I just stating the obvious.
I’m pretty desperate for you to find this photograph.
Thanks so much. I have looked everywhere!
I reckon I’ve got in the region of 700 + books on my shelves so that’s a lot to look through.
I am trying to reconcile myself to the most likely scenario, which is that it has been scooped up with waste papers, and thrown out.
Thinking positively, I have rediscovered a lot more lovely photographs during the course of my searches.
Dear Edwin
You obviously have a very clear picture in your mind of this special photo…are you able to write down what you “see” or try to draw it? You would then have something tangible to hold on to until the actual photo is found…take carex
I realised I had to ensure I didn’t lose the 100s of computer stored photos particularly a photo shoot my late husband agreed to when we were in the Dominican. It was such fun. So it’s safe and photos too but need to do proper albums. Plan to sort out the old photos too so family can cherish at some point. What I haven’t been able to do is end my husband’s phone contract as I will lose the text exchange between us and that’s very precious. I lost my mums exchange when she passed suddenly including the conversation hours before she died.