Lynn passed in March '20 from cancer. For the last days of her illness she was nursed in our local hospice.
She was to spend just a couple of days there to give her some bed rest plus get the levels & types of her medication sorted to allow her to return home, but her health deteriorated rapidly.
The staff allowed me to stay in Lynn’s room and bring with me our spaniel, Archie
Archie when not being fussed by the staff spent his whole day next to Lynn’s bed, bringing his front paws up so his head was adjacent to hers every hour or so. When Lynn’s electronic drugs dispenser alarmed Archie whimpered, when Lynn needed to go to the toilet Archie whimpered & waited by the door until Lynn came out before returning to his place by her bed. When Lynn slipped to sleeping all of the time Archie kept jumping up to sniff Lynn’s face, whimpering. At night when the light levels was reduced Archie kept his guard.
When Lynn took her last breath Archie whimpered. When I cried he whimpered
Now at home Archie sleeps next to the side of the bed where Lynn slept. In the daytime he goes to the bags I’ve filled with Lynn’s clothes (waiting for the charity shops to re-open) & whimpers. In the evening he lies next to where Lynn used to sit to watch TV.
I know I’ve become depressed, pain never leaves my chest, tears drip down my cheeks, I’m constantly worried (about what I’ve no idea) , I’m panicking (again no idea why), no sleep, no appetite and now I feel lonely yet I have no wish to be with anyone.
Can the same be true for Archie? He obviously misses his mistress.
Hi my husband passed on our sofa we have a husky it was heartbreaking for us then the husky came into the room and started to nudge my husband whimpering and crying. Akira is her name. Every day she lies by the sofa 3 months on she has really sad days and does not move from my side.
I am sure Archie is feeling your pain as well as experiencing his own. I totally understand how you are feeling as I feel the same. My darling John died on 7 June from a massive heart attack. My life has ended. Keep Archie beside you he needs you as much as you need him.
We have two cats and my husband adored them. He is now with us now I can see my cats are looking for him. It breaks my heart x
It’s heartbreaking my husky still having bad days keeps looking for my husband 3 months now how are you coping Nuran xx
Every day is getting more difficult. I have no idea how to copex
I have struggled every day for 3 months this last month has been unbearable I think it’s sinking in his not coming back. Not been back to work yet work as a nurse I don’t think emotionally I m fit to work yet so the days nights are long. It’s a roller coaster of emotions it’s awful. I wish I could tell you differently I focus on my son and daughter even though they are 26 and 24 my granddaughter is 2 and gets me through this xx
Thanks for coming back to me Kim5. I am trying to concentrate on my son. Apart from playing with him I look after him well. I do not have strength to play or read him books. I gradually started reading him a book but becoming to me so hard. As my husband used to read English books to our son and I read Turkish books. We were a great team. I was watching the videos yesterday he seems relaxed and happy before this terrible thing happened. Can we sense if we are dying or any feeling? Can not see anything on my love’s face? Trying to find something if I have missed anything. My mother in law is a nurse as well and I can not image her loss. She says she is not fit enough for work yet and I can understand her. No idea how we will cope x
I too have studied photographs of my husband’s face to see if I can spot any signs that something may have been wrong. I have spoken with people who saw him prior to his death. But nothing. Like yours, my husband died of a sudden heart attack, although he was much older at 65 but still far too young. I am so sorry for you and your son. The thing which helped me understand the most was my discussion with a consultant. He explained the human body, the heart and the brain. It did give me some understanding of what had happened. You will cope Nuran, because you have no other choice. You will do it for your darling boy. You are strong even though you might not think so.
Sending love and hugs to you and your son xx
Many thanks. You are right I do not have any other choice but I will carry grief all my life but I guess with less pain. He will be always in my mind xx