Physical Grief

Hi . I lost my husband Paul 3 months ago, as well as the emotional pain I have been experiencing extreme fatigue, I am sleeping ok at night but during the day I am so tired and lethargic. My GP Sent me for blood test which came back clear. Does anyone else suffer from this. I am putting it down to grieving.

Hi I looked up physical symptoms I felt so ill. I do not sleep at night. I feel exhausted all the time. You feel run down. Or maybe you’re getting plenty of sleep and still feeling fatigued, due to the constant emotional strain of grief. Headaches feeling nausea constant pounding in my heart. X 5 months with me

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Dear Markell,
I am so terribly sorry for your loss. It is normal to feel the way you are feeling, your whole life has been turned upside down and yes, it is down to grieving. Also with this Covid 19 isolation, when you could do with support and I mean the support where someone puts their arms around you, you are not getting it as everyone has to be so careful. Under normal conditions, you would be having family coming and going, helping you all the time but it is just not possible at the moment.
I am glad you are sleeping well because you need all the rest you can get.
You are on a long road of grieving but somewhere down the line, you will find, like the rest of us who are in the same position, that things will not always seem so awful, but you will never forget him, never stop loving him and you will cry for him, no matter how many years go by.
We are all here for you.
Love
Sheila.x

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Thanks for your comment, my grief is so new and reading all the posts has given me a feeling that I’m not on my own and not going mad.

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Thanks for your support I really appreciate it. I know it’s only been 3 months since I lost Paul, I’ve got a long road to go .

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We’re not going mad but I agree it feels like i The worst thing ever . I keep myself busy with my granddaughter but when I’m on my own in the house it’s unbearable. 5 months with me I’m not back at work yet I only do part time now we both retired 3 years ago Mick 60 I was 55. I work as a nurse with Covid 19 still around I can’t face going back but will do when I’m ready. It is very early days for us I don’t know if it will ever get easier. Take care

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Dear Markell,
Yes, it is a long road we have to travel and there is not a darned thing we can do about it.
Please take care, we are all here for you.
Love
Sheila.

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Hi there I’m feeling the same way the nights are horrible but the days are long I’m so tired and restless I just don’t know what to do myself

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Sorry for your loss. I lost my Paul six months ago and I feel the same. Very tired and lacking any kind of motivation. Suffering from dizziness too. Also finding it hard to concentrate on anything. GP took bloods and checked for what seemed like everything but all clear. Think it’s all part of grieving.

I started to think there maybe something wrong with me, but after hearing your stories I have to put it down to grief and the mind not resting. We are all going through such a painful time and it’s not just mental but physical also. I am realising that I am not alone.

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Hi. I’m the same my heart races it’s scary, how do you calm yourself down…
Janet x

Hi there, I lost my husband three months ago too . The sense of loss is huge and scary but I find that I can do things such as walk with friends etc but need to rest afterwards. When I am making difficult decisions or doing something new, my legs get a bit wobbly which is tiring. When my heart is racing, I try a variety of things; pukka night time tea, reading ,a calming breathing app and a lavender spray. One or two usually work during the night but it’s important to find a routine that works for you. All we can do is keep trying and take things slowly. You are not alone!

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What’s the calming app please ? X
I totally agree with you gref comes not only with tears, I find I can’t cry just the heart racing x

Hello Dal27.
It is six years since I lost my husband, we had been together 50 years from him being 18 years of age. At the very beginning I was the same, heart racing, but I realised it was all down to panic, I was panicking because I was now alone, the things Peter would sort out was now down to me, he was not there to ask for a second opinion or discuss something I wanted to buy. I used to lay in bed, trying to catch my breath I honestly thought I was having a heart attack.
Many years ago, in the early 60’s before I met Peter, I went with some girls to the YMCA, there was a class on breathing techniques and exercise, when I look back there wasn’t many things to do regarding exercise unless you were competing in races etc. We were taught how to deep breathe, they called it belly breathing. So many people shallow breathe where their shoulders move up and down but belly breathing is when you breathe deep down into your tummy and your stomach goes in and out each time you breathe.
This is what I used to do when I got the panic attacks, I would sit down and belly breathe, you will not believe how much it helps you to calm down. Breathing slowly in, holding your breath and then slowly breathing out again.
I too felt weak and washed out but I realised it was because I was no longer eating properly, it was cups of coffee and biscuits as I could not be bothered to cook for one and there was so many other things to do after someone dies and the powers that be do not make it easy. Probate, changing names of bills, it never ends, especially when there are idiots on the other end of the line who don’t do what they say they will and that all adds to the stress of what you are going through, so ensure you have good meals.
All I can say is there will always be a big part of you that is missing and every so often, the sadness rears it’s ugly head and knocks you sideways.
Please take care, it is a long lonely journey.
Love
Sheila.x

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First few months I had panick attacks it’s was really frightening they have lessened now but had one around special days like our wedding anniversary last week. I have to control my breathing. During days I walk my dog visit friends family. It’s the nights which are bad sleep not good. I read have a meditation app or just go with the flow of not sleeping much now. Sorry for your loss Janet it’s so hard xx Sheila has mentioned every thing we go through the lack of eating I lost 2 stone I was worrying my kids I do eat better now.

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Sorry for your loss it’s a hard road my husband was diagnosed with cancer in March when his bowel ruptured then given days to live. Take care x

Thank you for your kind words I can relate to most of them…the pain is in my chest, but I can’t cry just a bad sudden pain…I guess we have to go with it…
I lost my partner in March, I found him did CPR but knew he had gone…we were together 22 years…
I miss him all the time, like you say to talk to but it’s all down to me to do all things, shame there isn’t a group meets face to face.
Jan x

He was 65…
X

Yes I agree birthdays Christmas my first…they say the firsts are the worst…
Janet x

It is through something called Thrive, which I got a free subscription to during Covid.

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