I lost Rob very suddenly at the beginning of September to a heart attack age 56 . As we both worked shifts we made plans all the time.
I know this awful virus has played a big hand in preventing people doing anything at all let alone the plans they may have made.
We even had plans for the day he passed away I was expecting to be going out on his cruiser bike the day he passed not ringing various people to tell them the news.
I will be 60 in June we had plans to go to Spain to visit a Buddhist stupa. We had planned to go to Whitby on a northern soul weekend ,we had plans to do things in the house , we had plans for our grandkids .
Now I’m left to live a very different life that just wasn’t planned for , I didn’t plan to feel so alone, scared,pained,lost and afraid .
Everyday I plan to carry on and do my best to live as I know he would have wanted me to and to make him proud but it’s so hard and such a struggle I feel I was doing better a month ago and that Iv taken a giant leap backwards can this happen will I ever move forward

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We are all here for you @Kazzer and sending lots of strength your way :yellow_heart:

I’m really sorry to hear you lost Rob very suddenly. I can’t imagine how hard it is for you loosing someone so close to you so soon. It sounds really hard having all of these plans change, I can really hear the pain you’re feeling and I’m so sorry for your loss. Be kind to yourself and remember we’re here for you always :yellow_heart:

Aife thank you so much for your kind words I know I’m not the only one travelling down this lonely path but it’s so hard . There are days when you think your doing ok and you can do this then other days are very much the reverse life just isn’t fair
Sending hugs and thank you again x

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Dear Kazzer,
I can relate so much to what you say about lost plans. Losing your husband so suddenly is not only shocking emotionally (it defies description) but also psychologically completely disorientating. I also lost my husband of 35 years very suddenly almost 15 months ago and I find it hard to believe he is never coming home.
At 64 he wasn’t young but also wasn’t old in today’s world and we had so many plans for doing things together. After many years of caring for elderly parents and helping our two sons through education and into employment we were on the cusp of ‘our time’. We didn’t have wild plans. We just hoped to grow old together and enjoy each other’s company and look after each other. There were places we hoped to visit like so many of our generation. I never sought the company of anyone else in preference to his. He was all I needed.
When our soulmate dies it isn’t just the immediate loss which is so painful but the loss of our future with that special irreplaceable person. I have also looked into our past together wondering how it could end so suddenly in an instant. What has it all been for? To be so happy and then so sad doesn’t make sense. None of us really has a plan B when we are quite happy with plan A.
At 56 you would of course have expected your husband Rob to have many years ahead of him and making plans for your future is the most normal thing in the world. I am so sorry that you now find yourself facing a different future along with so many others on this forum who like you feel lost, afraid and alone. Take care. X


Hello Kazzer
I’m so sorry for your loss and feel your pain.
I really think the shock is so raw in the first year or so , after losing your husband the loss is so painful. The plans made have been snatched away from you and it is so unfair. I lost my husband suddenly 2 years ago and I felt robbed.
Robbed of the future we had planned & growing old together.
I now just feel so so sad. Sad my lovely kind caring husband is missing out. He should be here with our sons and grandchildren, sharing their lives and stages of life. He would be so proud of them.
I feel I need to be strong now and give my family love and support from both me and their Dad.
Take care and look after yourself it’s only a short time for you , it’s a new life that wasn’t planned or wanted it’s not easy this journey of grief.
Ang x

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