Precious things... for family members to take away

Ok, so here we go. My beloved husband died a year ago. What followed was hand-to-hand combat (metaphorically) to sort out estate matters, business matters, overseas property stuff. You get the picture, right? A whole bunch of ugly crying as the pain of dealing with the aftermath ripped through everything I knew. Lots of us know this. Lots of us, too many I’m sure, like me, have the receipts. This stuff, like so much grief stuff, is hard. So, am paddling my grief canoe towards the shore, heading for the sand beneath my feet and a chance to say that I know where I am. Where I stand. What I can do. But. On Saturday, my brother-in-law is coming to the house take away family memories. Pictures of him and my beloved as children. Family memorabilia that have been my friends and neighbours as I have wobbled through the last few years. Things that have been around me for years and things as witnesses to his suffering and our loss. The antique thing in the hallway, adjacent to his collapse as the medics tried to help. Portraits and images of family members dotted around that have been my constant back drop. Time, now, to say goodbye. I am sort of ready. After being torched as he and I were torched, by his illness, torched by the suffering, torched by the end of life, torched by the new life that I now live. I am more resilient, by experience, not necessarily by choice. But. Come this Saturday, the house, still bewildered at his absence, will look to me again, to explain the additional gaps that his brother, entirely fairly, has taken to himself. It ain’t easy. I had no idea how hard it would be. Friends and fellow grievers, it just is. And through that, and knowing that, we have each other as we go, to understand, to support, to cheer and to walk with us. I know you are with me, and, if you’ll have me on your team, you have me. x


Aww that will be hard for you I’m sure fairly or not be I feel for you and I’m so glad his brother allowed you the time you needed before taking the things…my partner passed 10 days ago his sister wanted to come get his stuff 7 days after he died he isn’t even laid to rest yet of course it’s not happening il decide when it does…Be strong xx


This is another tough step in your journey. I know it won’t be the same but I presume you can get professional copies of any photos which are important to you?
My heart goes out to you and I’d certainly like to be on your team please. You have helped, and continue to help, so many of us with your words of wisdom. Please stay with us. xxx

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@Vancouver when my mum died at almost 102 in 2020, my 2 brothers and my sister and I put together all the photos and pictures we could find and then had them scanned and touched up by a friend who is a professional photographer. We then each had digital copies. I did the same with my wife’s photos for my sister-in-law. Some of the favourite ones we have had printed off. That way we have shared the memories between us.