pressure

Does anybody else feel like me ? I lost my husband of 47 years . It was unexpected, he simply went to bed and did not wake up. The shock and grief is unbearable but I can feel that people around me just want me to get back to “normal”. I also feel guilty because I know my husband would want me to carry on as was normal. Does anybody else feel like this and how do you cope

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My husband died on the golf course. We’d been married 51 years. Every day is a struggle. I’m so lost

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@Suepatricia

I do !!! Exactly the same . It’s awful , heartbreaking, depressing, like existing in a black hole forever more :broken_heart::sleepy::broken_heart:

Sending hugs xx

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@Suepatricia . l dont know about coping its more taking each hour & step one at a time.
lve found this site really helps as you’re amongst friends who do know what you are going through and will go through.
Despite the emotions, roll with the waves :ocean:, rant rave scream :scream: if you have to, we’ve all been there, we KNOW. Let yourself go on this site, there are plenty of us who can empathise and listen.
Take care xx

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Hi @Suepatricia . My wife died one month before our golden wedding, so I do understand, as do the other nice posts you have already had.
In the early days, my brain was full of questions it was impossible to answer, thoughts which were contradictory, and emotions we cant even give a name to.
As you travel through grief (as you will) you will find ways to cope, and the next chapter of your life will become clear. Difficult to imagine, isnt it, but it will. Be confident, and tackle it one foot in front of another. Good luck.
PS there is no “normal” future life. It will be different, but still good.

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Hi,i feel exactly the same.Some days are better than others but at the end of the day I miss my wife so much.Tanni only wanted the best for me and I know she would be disappointed, in the way I have been the last 5 months.Take care everybody.

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Thank you x

Thank you gives me hope x

No body should be expected to be back to normal under the circumstances maybe they should keep their opinions to themselves it word be different if it were then I bet sorry but some people make be so bloody angry you go at your own pace not forced by others who have no idea what it’s like xx

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Yes people have no patience do they ? They just seem blissfully unaware that your life has changed beyond all recognition … well i say hard cheese to them cos it has changed and i dont really really care if they like it or not !!! X

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@Suepatricia I’m so sorry you are going through this and like the others say this is common. I felt a very definite shift around 6 months that I had very much had my time of open grieving and it was time to put it in a box. I feel angry at times but I’ve come to realise most people don’t like to see others in pain and when they can’t fix it they feel helpless. It’s much easier to pretend it all goes away.

I find I need to juggle the screaming dialogue in my head with ensuring what comes out seems vaguely sane most of the time. Not sure I’ve mastered the art yet! !

What I’ve come to realise is that a lot of people who find it hard to hear about the grief acknowledge it in a different way and I need to look for those signs and appreciate them for what they are. For example, my bins magically go out and come back in every week. That slightly less than professional comment is let go. That person who was a total bism, gets short shift from my colleague when they phone back. It’s all acknowledgement in it’s own quiet way.
Xxx

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Feeling exactly the same cant believe he has really gone trying to b normal but doesn’t work for long