We lost my dad on Saturday in Bournemouth Hospital. He was sent down to Poole A&E on 17th February after visiting his GP with difficulty breathing where they discovered fluid retention on his lungs, and was transferred to Bournemouth the next day. He was only 65 but did have stage kidney kidney disease and heart issues which were generally under control with medication, but dialysis was on the cards in the near future.
The fluid retention was due to heart failure but in general, he was doing fine. In Bournemouth he was approved for a bed in Southampton for aortic valve replacement and a bypass surgery, dialysis was on the cards prior anyway but they said he would require that but they’d rather do that at Southampton. He was given diuretics and managed to shift most of the fluid, he was approved for Southampton on 02/02/2026 and we were told he would be there within 5 days, he was feeling good this week, his kidney function was up, and could have had the surgery, but they didn’t have a bed. He was waiting for a bed in Southampton from 02/03/2026 until his death on 21/03/2026 when they were getting him ready to transfer to Southampton and his heart stopped.
Throughout his stay he developed UTIs, hallucinations and delirium etc., the last few days he was convinced they were leaving him to die due to waiting so long for a bed and being so vague with us on why he was still waiting.
We reassured him constantly as we truly believed he would be fine, he was just waiting for surgery like we were told.
What we are really struggling with now is that this shouldn’t have happened, he shouldn’t have been waiting so long for surgery and we need answers. If he had passed during the heart surgery we would have been able to grieve knowing that they tried everything, but we also don’t believe this would have been the case if he had the surgery when it was approved and he was at his best physically.
Has anybody else had to deal with something similar and how do you cope with the injustice and anger, also the guilt of not pushing the hospital enough and trusting their care and advice?
We will be opening a complaint via PALS but feel we should take it further so this doesn’t happen to anybody else, processes need to change.
Any advice from anyone who has had a similar experience would be appreciated.