Hi there all I see on bbc tomorrow night Prince William is going to be on a team discussing mental health issues bereavement being one of them his quote there is no pain worst than the pain of bereavement as we all know on on this site,mental health is bad enough in any situation but the loss of a loved one is such a quick and final thing like death its self.
I do hope he can raise some awareness for people like us as we seem to be the group society forgot from what I can see counciling seems to be a long and drawn out process I’ve not tried myself so cannot comment.
My father passed away in 1960 aged 47 the help and condolences my mother got from relatives friends and neighbours even neighbours they didn’t really know gave for flowers etc todays society entirely different there was one neighbour who gave flowers and condolences and as far as relatives are concerned some couldn’t even be bothered when my wife passed away last November.
So come on William lad raise some awareness for a big part of society who have lost their loved ones and going through this mental illness called grief.
. Yours MM69
I have written my comments about this subject on the post about ‘Written to the BBC’ but I will repeat that this subject certainly needs to be brought to the fore and I hope that William can do this. Perhaps some of us should try to join in.
Some of my husbands family did come to the funeral but I have heard nothing from them since although I have written or sent e-mails, made phone calls but never a reply not even from his two daughters or grown up grandchildren. I have written them off as lost now. I’m not wasting my life worrying about them. Not one neighbour came to see him although some did say the usual thing “You know where we are if you want anything”. Do we ever bother them.!!! Next door neighbours for over thirty years never a call although they came to the funeral. I know my husband and I were quiet and private but surely we wasn’t that inconspicuous. We was always pleasant and chatty. We just didn’t become too involved.
It has taught me a lesson and I will make sure I offer support to friends or even a neighbour I don’t particularly know if they have suffered a bereavement.
Pat xx
A lot of the problem is the inability to discuss mental health with anyone who has not suffered. They will give you an ‘organ recital’ about their physical illness, but they clam up when mental health is discussed. Why? Fear! It reminds them of what may happen to them because everyone feels stress at some time. Fear can be your friend or your enemy. Fear can warn you of danger and give you time to avoid it. Anxiety is always based on conflict within. Anticipation and apprehension, which most of us have on here, can cause all sorts of emotional problems. But fear can be a protection to danger. Caveman feared the Sabretooth Tiger or a big hairy Mammoth, but we have the same fear except from different sources. Modern life is full of fears. That we may not recover. That we may fail or be a failure. That we may let people down, etc. Anxiety is on the increase, that’s a fact, but the resources needed to help are not always there. In the UK the government goes through the motions, but real help is always lacking. Six weeks waiting to see someone for counselling is bad when the need is urgent. Private therapy is expensive and not many can afford the number of sessions required. This website offers counselling for free, and bless them for it.
But until we, as a society, take mental health seriously, especially during bereavement, nothing will change.