Society wants people on the move. doing, and full of energy and giving.
But when you are grieving someone, I feel you are not obliged. There is no way I am returning to the swimming group after losing my friend last Thursday. I am not up to mingling, at all. I just want people to know that they have a right to their feelings, because so often we are not allowed how we feel, as it inconveniences the “group”, the tribe, as we are all tribal and part of “society”. it is like just saying no, and saying no is hard and standing up for how we feel is hard. but I have to do it and am learning through losing people, that I have a right to my feelings, even if others do not find it convenient. Am I the only one who takes things hard, or has deep feelings? Sometimes, I think so. Maybe because others are too quick to hide their own feelings for the sake of others. Thanks for letting me express myself, on this board.
Yes please, saying “no” is hard and we are also very good at putting on that brave face but we must be brave and say “no, but thanks”. Great stating your feelings. Bless you berit.
Hi Beret
I also found that I didn’t want to mix with groups. All nice people that were kind but I didn’t want to socialise and walked away from them for a while, I wanted to be alone to grieve. Being with people didn’t take away or ease my grief or loneliness. When it feels right for you, then will be the time to resume contact.
Oh I agree 100% I was told that I had spent my life looking after others and wasn’t it time someone looked after me. Yes that would be nice sometimes but please tell me who would do it after my soulmate has gone. What did they use to say in the tv program about smile and carry on. For tonight I have removed my brace face but tomorrow it will be put back. Keep safe xx