PTSD after dad's death.

I am 26 and lost my dad in August very unexpectedly and suddenly.
He was 73 but fine and healthy until the 23rd July when he had a funny turn when we were out food shopping. It took two weeks for a GP to see him, and when he got back from the appointment he got out the car and collapsed outside the house. I still get flashbacks of watching it happen through the window, and the ambulance turning up. Even now, hearing or seeing an ambulance induces a panic attack.

He was transferred to three different hospitals in the county where they found a large tumor in his kidney, but said they could treat it. They did a procedure and moved him to Addenbrookes to remove it, but then couldn’t go through with the surgery. The day I went to bring him home I walked in to him wired up to machines in a hospital bed. They told me the cancer was so aggressive it had spread to 4 different places over a week and there was nothing they could do, and that dad had weeks left. Not even 24 hours later, they called me again and said it was likely to be days or hours rather than weeks. Two days later he died in Addenbrookes, 2 hours after I got home from visiting him.

Now all I see when I go to sleep, or see an ambulance, or even do something normal like food shopping, is flashbacks of him on the floor, or in the hospital, or the funeral. I don’t know how to make them stop and they’re ruining my life. I miss my dad.


Sorry for your loss I to have a similar story my husband went to hospital for a cancer op all was well and cancer was removed then they rang and said he needed another op as he had a blockage but when they opened him he didn’t have a blockage but he then got sepsis and phenomenon and then kidney failure and his heart couldn’t cope and he died on August 12th I wasn’t allowed to visit but all I see is him walking into the hospital and waving at me though window I think I’m suffering from PTSD but I don’t know do you need to get a doctor to diagnosis this but I have no faith in the NHS anymore. I blame them for his death .

I have lived with agoraphobia, anxiety and panic because of PTSD (unrelated to the loss of my mam) for years now and although I have therapy there is little improvement. There’s different forms of treatment you can try. Please get help so you don’t end up crippled by panic. I do understand the ambulance panic. I get that because mam was in and out of hospital in the last year, unrelated to the cancer. You are so young and it’s tragic what has happened. I’m so sorry. I’m completely broken by my mam leaving me and have no words of comfort. I can’t accept she isn’t here. We were all with her when she left but it’s of little comfort now. I wish I could still visit her in the chapel of rest. Keep posting and reading other posts. It does help to get the emotion out, to try to make sense of it. People are so very kind. You aren’t on your own. We are all broken now. xxx