Pushing the memories away

My beautiful daughter died a month ago tomorrow and I’m really struggling to cope. The only way I can get through the day is to push thoughts of her out of my mind and avoid anything that reminds me of her. I feel so guilty doing this but it’s so painful to think of her. Please tell me this will pass as I feel awful, like I’m pushing her away

This is very similar to my way of dealing with things. I’m avoiding looking at too many photos as I know what the effect will be and I try to keep busy with distractions to avoid thinking too deeply. I’m a bit like an automaton in that I don’t expect to enjoy anything but keep plodding on and trying to get through each day. Sitting and thinking is for later… Not sure how much later but it’s all about having a coping strategy.

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Thank you. I just can’t bear the depths of my grief but I do want to think of her, just that it’s too painful right now. My hope is that one day I can remember her with smiles not tears and pain x

It’s only 9 weeks since my wife died and I can just about smile when I think of her but not too deeply. I’m sure things will be a little less painful eventually.

I’m so sorry for your loss. Grief is just horrible isn’t it? I met with a counsellor last week and he said that after about a year, those he has counselled describe the grief as being small enough to fit in the palm of their hand or pocket. They still feel it but just for moments or short periods rather than being all consuming. It gave me hope. X

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