Putting on a brave face

Hi. I lost my dad the end of March with Alzheimer’s. I took 3 months off work as I just could not function. I have returned to work which did give me a reason to get out of bed. I’m just struggling with all the pretence. Putting on a brave face when all I want to do is breakdown and cry. This is just so hard to deal with. Love to all on this site. X

2 Likes

It’s tough Joey, especially at work. Don’t try to pretend - you are already dealing with a lot without having to put on a brave face. Keep a box of tissues near you and if you need to cry dash off to the restroom and do it. The crying fit won’t last long and you’ll have released some of the emotion. So what if your eyes are a bit red when you return - people know you’re grieving. I have only just started wearing make-up again 18 months after my husband died.

Hi
I lost my much loved husband in March and life is hell. I miss him so much. I go to work on autopilot. Everyone says how “well” I’m doing and I want to scream.
I’m a teacher and have to have a false smile. It’s whats got me through the last 6 months but it’s now I feel like grieving, to stop pretending, to shout out how I miss my husband. How angry I feel that this wonderful human being is lost forever. I do t k ow the answer.

Hi everyone I cannot believe I made it through Christmas with not too many tears,the weeks before Christmas I was an emotional mess,but I did it and to be honest I’m actually looking forward to 2018,I will be working new years eve and new year’s Day,so I don’t have to face the end of 2017 alone.
I didn’t wish anyone a merry Christmas and won’t wish any one a happy new year,but will quietly see the new year in with a toast to my hubby who I lost in may,he was a DJ,so he celebrated every new year in a big way,I miss him so much it hurts,I cannot believe I won’t see him again or chat to him again,some days I forget and expect to see him sat in the chair,then I remember and it hurts all over again,but I’m looking forward now not back,I have my memories and these are mine to keep. I will keep going for the sake of my sanity.

Hi everyone I cannot believe I made it through Christmas with not too many tears,the weeks before Christmas I was an emotional mess,but I did it and to be honest I’m actually looking forward to 2018,I will be working new years eve and new year’s Day,so I don’t have to face the end of 2017 alone.
I didn’t wish anyone a merry Christmas and won’t wish any one a happy new year,but will quietly see the new year in with a toast to my hubby who I lost in may,he was a DJ,so he celebrated every new year in a big way,I miss him so much it hurts,I cannot believe I won’t see him again or chat to him again,some days I forget and expect to see him sat in the chair,then I remember and it hurts all over again,but I’m looking forward now not back,I have my memories and these are mine to keep. I will keep going for the sake of my sanity.

Hello, Ginny. Like you, I made it through Christmas without too many tears, except on Boxing Day when my son took me to the garden of remembrance where my husband’s ashes are interred within a stone orb (with a space next to him for me). Then I was a complete mess. Now, all I want is for 2017 to end but at the moment I have no idea when or how I am going to cope without him around. It would be lovely if, come the spring, we read more optimistic postings from everyone on here, but who knows ? Warm regards. Eileen.

Hi Eileen

I can understand how upset you were on Boxing Day going to the Garden of Rememberance. I felt the same when we talked about the plaque we are having for Geoff. We had to decide whether to put the inscription on one side and leave the other blank for me. When your husband dies you gave to face your own mortality too. Like you we had a good life but the reality that it is over comes as a shock and one we are never prepared for.

I wish I could say something to ease your pain ( mine too) maybe when we are feeling better we will be able to reflect on our happy memories just like Sheila does.

Yvonne x

Thank you, Yvonne. There is a space for me on the plaque, and as I am 86 it probably won’t stay blank for long. It seems that, no sooner do we overcome one trauma, there is another to take its place. I do hope there is some improvement for all of us in 2018. Warm regards. Eileen

Hi Eileen
We still have to sort out hubby’s final resting place,and that will be done in the new year,and I too will have to face the fact that this will be my resting place as well.
My sons want to choose this resting place and I’m happy for them to do it as I’m not sure I can deal with this yet
I too am hoping for a better 2018. Ginny

Back to top