I used to think that it was painful missing someone for a few days, but the pain is really there when the option of ever seeing them again is taken away!
The pain when this happens is something I can’t describe, it’s like the person you were once dies from the inside.
People say it will get better, in your head you think “it won’t” as you feel that deep dreaded feeling at the back of your throat.
Life gives you no option but to move on, never forgetting just being strong.
They leave behind so many memories, cherish them with your heart, because for now on this journey, you are apart.
Hi Stargirl93.l used to miss my partner.when he was away for 2 nights for work.but used to look forward to him coming home.but death is so final.& having to accept they are never coming through the door again or waking me in the morning before l go to work with a cup of coffee.or the million things we used to do together.he passed away in Nov 2022.but like you l have such wonderful memories especially holidays. & the life we had
Dear Stargirl93,
I have never known what it was like during the 47 years of our marriage to sleep alone unless I was in hospital having our children or my husband was in hospital during his illness.
I honestly think that is why I can’t sleep through the night,( here I am 1-30 in the morning and on my laptop). I tried putting a long pillow at the back of me but that didn’t work, I tried sleeping in a single bed in the spare bedroom but I fell out of it. The bed feels too large now I am on my own and it is only a double one, goodness knows what it would be like if I slept in a king size bed.
We always slept in the spooning position, my back into his tummy and now my back always feels cold even though I have plump duvets on. Our bed just feels empty now he has gone.
Dear Stargirl,
I am so sorry, to lose your young sister and then your mum so soon afterwards is soul destroying.
I remember when my younger sister died when she was 47, so many years ago, I still think about her all the time, we were never apart, She was with me when I met my husband in the 1960’s and I was with her when she met her husband the year after. We worked together, went out together, went to school together as there was only two years in our ages, we were more like twins.
I don’t think any of us are the same again after losing our loved ones because we all lose our future together.
I know we have our memories, but we don’t want memories we just want them.
xxxx
@Lonely i think thats exactly how i would describe it " soul destroying " thank you for your condolences.
I really appreciate you taking the time to talk to me, i dont know if you like poetry but if you do i would love to share some of my poems with you…they may bring you a little comfort
I would like to thank you for offering to share some of your poems with me, but to be absolutely truthful, I have never been one for poems. The only poem I ever liked was by William Wordsworth, “I wandered lonely as a cloud”. My late husband Peter bought me a 45 rpm record in the 1960’s called “Seven Golden Daffodils” because of that poem and I still have it together with a card that was covered in Satin and painted with a field of daffodils.
Sheila.x
@Lonely hi, thats absolutely fine, dont worry i respect your honesty, poetry isnt for everyone. Awwww that sounds absolutely beautiful!!! Its so nice for you to have such a precious memory xxxx
I think lots of members will identify with your words.